But I have green toenails - and the toenails do make me happy. My feet on the other hand (foot?) are not making me happy right now... but that is an entirely different subject.My e-mail address associated with this blog account sent out a bunch of spam the other night. Advertising Canadian Pharmaceuticals. Someone else said they were unable to access my blog the same day as this happened. It is creepy to think of someone hijacking my e-mail account and maybe my blog.
I did a little bit of research about this and one of the biggest warnings is about all these "fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd:" e-mails. I have a "junk" e-mail address that I give to commercial endeavors because I know they will flood my inbox with junk - and they do. This account is personal. Unfortunately, some of my personal friends send me forwarded crap every single day. Some of the forwarded crap I get just because my e-mail address is on the phone list for my AA group.
I have had the experience of telling someone not to send me that stuff - and that was the last time I talked to her. She won't talk to me anymore, she was so offended by that.
So, what do you do about someone jeopardizing your electronic security by sending you cute or clever or political or sentimental e-mail that they are also sending to every other person whose address they have?
14 comments:
Maybe I am just mean- but I tell them once to please stop and offer them my junk email address. If they continue to send I block them. Might not be the right approach but in this day of hacking, identity theft and all of that stuff there is no reason to take that chance.
I delete those forwards without opening them.
I delete the forwards and don't even look at them. I also have the latest virus detection software which helps a bit.
"I have had the experience of telling someone not to send me that stuff - and that was the last time I talked to her. She won't talk to me anymore, she was so offended by that."
I would term that experience as "What a relief!" Who needs friends like that? It's her problem. I also used to get sent jokes in emails by a friend. The amount increased so much, I went mad (noy outwardly, just inside my head). I just stopped reading them, and I certainly never ever forwarded them. That might result in even more people emailing me back, with more silly jokes or pictures of rabbits riding motorbikes.
I just don't have the humour to handle more than one joke a fortnight, and even then, it's pushing it a bit.
Bah, humbug! ;)
"I like you and I'd like to receive PERSONAL emails from you, but please do not send me forwards of jokes, cute animal pictures, chain letters or calls to political action.
Personal messages from you, however, are more than welcome."
TRUST ME, if setting a simple boundary like "please stop sending forwards to my inbox" offends someone so much that they feel the need to end the relationship, and then do so without even coming to you to discuss the matter, they are so shame-based that if it hadn't been the email issue it would've been something else.
(Being shame based myself, I mean that as descriptive rather than pejorative; as I've gotten more recovery I'm slowly becoming more able to (a) set simple boundaries (b) in gentle ways (c) that affirm goodwill towards the person in general.
If someone is offended because you're trying to enforce your own boundaries, maybe they need to get a program.
Now damnit, I just wrote about being judgemental and having compassion.
Oh well. Never mind.
MC I delete that stuff prior to opening.
That person was my first sponsor and was my best friend for my first 16 years of sobriety. She definitely has some problems, but I would have liked to have been her friend anyway. My friends don't have to be perfect :-)
My mother sends me that crap, despite repeated requests not to. I finally responded to EVERYONE on her list saying I wasn't interested in it. It got me a lot of flak, but I think it embarrassed her enough in front of her friends that she's stopped. I wouldn't have taken that step if she had responded to any of at least a dozen requests to stop. If she starts again, I have told her I will be forced to direct ALL of her incoming mail to the spam filter. And then email will just not be an option for our communication.
I delete them without opening them, too. For those who send me only forwards and nothing else I mark them as SPAM and that keeps them out of my inbox.
As a last resort, and it makes sense if you have had your email addy a long time, is to get a new email address and give it only to people you trust. You can then add people as necessary from your old addy. It is a pain, takes time, and causes minor inconveniences for people but it ultimately lets you regain control and begin with a "clean slate". My .02 from my own experience.
Namaste
I delete them right away too
Oh, Mary, that is creepy. When I see FWD.,FWD., FWD. I delete, delete, delete!
Nice toes!
I agree with everyone here. For someone to be that offended over something so small they have problems of their own. I receive quite a few, mostly at work. I am picky what I open and often delete. I ALWAYS delete any previous email addys that might be already on an email if I decide to forward to someone. If nothing else it cleans them up and makes them a lot easier to read!
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