Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Not well.

I woke up this morning with a migraine and a fatigue so profound, I knew I needed to stay home from work. So I did. I have been in bed most of the day. I am now getting ready to go back to bed. I am hopeful that I will feel better tomorrow because staying home for two days is not an option.

I spoke on the phone with my friend who tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. She is still in detox - even though that is usually only a temporary placement. They are holding her there for a while. She is tormented by the memories of her overdose. She had thought that if she took a lot of pills she would just close her eyes and die peacefully. Instead she was violently ill and covered an entire hotel room with blood. Now when she closes her eyes, she sees that blood.

When I was newly sober I ran across this tiny little poem somewhere - I have no idea where, but I am reminded of it tonight.

Alcohol gave me wings to fly
And then it took away the sky.

The sky comes back to us when we stop trying to fly above it with booze. But no one is ready to see that until they are ready to see it. Unfortunately some of us die before they ever get to the point of willingness.

It is a heartbreaking thing.

Gratefully sober tonight. Grateful you all are too. Let's stay that way today, OK?

7 comments:

dAAve said...

That damn migraine.
I hope when you wake up, it's gone and serenity returns.

Syd said...

I hope that you feel better tomorrow. Those headaches really hurt. I don't have migraines but occasionally get a sinus headache that puts me under.

Guinevere said...

Mary Christine... I get migraines too. Please take care of thyself. fondly, --G

Scott said...

I am hoping that you awaken this morning with a smile and relief, I pray for you MC! Be well!

Patty said...

I hope you are feeling better today, Mary.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I hope you're feeling better today. I used to have debilitating migraines so I pray that you find relief in restful sleep!

God continue to be with your friend as she heals as well. I hope she finds the peace she so desperately needs and seeks!

Willa said...

I love that poem!

I hope you feel better soon, Mary.