I spoke on the phone with my friend who tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. She is still in detox - even though that is usually only a temporary placement. They are holding her there for a while. She is tormented by the memories of her overdose. She had thought that if she took a lot of pills she would just close her eyes and die peacefully. Instead she was violently ill and covered an entire hotel room with blood. Now when she closes her eyes, she sees that blood.
When I was newly sober I ran across this tiny little poem somewhere - I have no idea where, but I am reminded of it tonight.
Alcohol gave me wings to flyAnd then it took away the sky.
The sky comes back to us when we stop trying to fly above it with booze. But no one is ready to see that until they are ready to see it. Unfortunately some of us die before they ever get to the point of willingness.
It is a heartbreaking thing.
Gratefully sober tonight. Grateful you all are too. Let's stay that way today, OK?