Friday, September 24, 2010

Things Past

The above scene was something that struck me as incredibly sad. Abandoned balls. From abandoned children. An abandoned courtyard on an abandoned unit in a decimated hospital. Where I work. We did rounds of all the hospital courtyards today to assess risk. This one was just terribly sad. It closed one day last December, and yet, there are still balls out in the courtyard, as if the patients are still there, just waiting to come out and enjoy a game of ball.

After writing the sad story of my best friend last night, I thought about writing about more of my lost relationships. Lost to alcoholism. But I have to get up in the morning at 2:45 and drive across town to meet my running club by 5:00 a.m. and run 20 miles. 20 miles. Yes, that is right, twenty miles. I will give you a full report, and I hope it won't include any details of injuries or illness. The weather is supposed to be fine... we will start under the harvest moon. And end under the blazing sun, but it is only supposed to be in the high 70s tomorrow, so it will be fine. I have had two trips to the chiropractor this week and hope that my left foot, leg, and whole back will hold out. (I have, for the most part, stopped writing about my injuries, they are SO boring.)

I guess I want to make a point. I have seen some mighty fine people lose their way and get drunk. I have seen them become people I didn't know - even though we had been close when they were sober. Once alcohol enters the picture, no matter what you think, the relationship is over. That is my experience.

I am too tired to write about specific examples now, but I think I will in the next days.

We need to remember that our recovery is for this day. I cannot stay sober on yesterday's spirituality. It has to be today's. And we need to never let down our vigilance.

And now I must get some beauty (and strength) rest. I won't ask for your prayers for my run since I have discovered most of you think I am nuts. That's OK. You don't have to understand what I am doing.


Anonymous said...

I totally get what you are doing and why you are doing it. I'm also training for marathon and I'm getting up @ 5:00 am to run 12 miles (my training is just beginning).


P.S. I always read your blog but rarely comment. I couldn't let this blog pass.

shadowlands said...

I like to hear about you being active, it gives me motivation to try new things.

Like a fast walk or something. I don't do running, I'm too easily pained. Literally, I get a pain in my chest. Used to happen at school, so it's not a middle aged thing.

I will pray too.

I still think you're nuts by the way. ;)

I only do nutty people, sensible is too scary.

dAAve said...

I am always saddened that people relapse and don't come back. There are so many of them that I can't keep up with who is gone. I have to focus on those who DO make it back and want to try sobriety again. It's my responsibility to be available to them.

And ...
I don't think you're nuts.
I don't think.

Pam said...

Nutty people need the most prayers. :-)

Eve said...

You're not nuts - you just like to push the envelope.

Enjoy your blog each day. Have a wonderful weekend!

Anonymous said...

I will look forward (if that's the right expression!) to your thoughts on the people you knew who resumed drinking.

I have not been sober very long and I am terrified I will forget exactly why I had to give up, and why I mustn't drink again today.

Hearing these awful warnings helps me remember I can't go back to 'normal' or 'controlled' drinking.

Can't comment on the running, I hope it all goes well. Most of my friends are nuts. They all express their nuttiness in different ways. I expect I am nuts too. I am in denial about that.

Syd said...

Aren't we each a little nuts in some way? I wish you a good run and happy thoughts. The harvest moon is just now coming up.