There really is a phenomenon known as "post-marathon depression," maybe if that is thrown on a person who already has major depressive disorder you really have a storm. My post-half-marathon depressions have not lasted long, I think this one has already gone past that length of time - but perhaps it lasts twice as long. I have spent a year with laser focus on training for a marathon - now it is over.
Work is not a happy place for me right now. That meeting was a three hour long nightmare yesterday. In a hot room. With a new cashmere sweater. But I felt I looked good - and believe me, that was the only consolation. I was the only woman without a suit on, and I didn't care. I always used to wear a suit to that meeting and I was only more miserable for sitting in a hot jacket for three hours.
I could go on and on with my complaints, but there is no point.
So, what did I do yesterday?
- went to an AA meeting at 6:30 a.m.
- worked all day - just like I am supposed to
- came home from work and made a healthy dinner for myself
- made phone calls to people in AA
I will now get dressed for my day and do the same thing again.
I know that "this too shall pass." It doesn't have to feel good every day and that is a good thing because it really doesn't feel good now.
Every morning in my prayer and meditation, I read a Psalm. This morning the Psalm was a lamentation Psalm. I know I am not the only whiner! It is a great consolation to me that God listens to whiners too.