Last night I had a long telephone conversation with one of my sponsees who absolutely astounded me when she casually threw this little line into a sentence - "the longer I stay sober, the worse my life gets." I asked her if she thought it would get better if she had a drink. She said no, but I wonder how it is that a sober person would say such a thing. And, of course, I asked her.
She is dismayed that she isn't making more money. She is dismayed that her husband doesn't make more money. She is dismayed that her lawn is looking bad. She is dismayed that she doesn't always love the people she works with.
This is a woman who was at death's door 6 years ago. She could no longer WALK. I won't go into more details because I don't have the right to, even though you don't know who I am talking about.
I don't even know how to respond to that, except I am glad we weren't eyeball to eyeball, because I might have taken her by the shoulders and shaken her.
Sobriety is not about having a high-paying job. It is not about having a nice house, car, husband/wife, lawn, and stuff. It is about 1. (NUMBER ONE) staying sober - no matter what. 2. Matching calamity with serenity - that means things don't always go our way, but we learn to deal with life's problems. 3. Trusting God, that he will care for us, and may sometimes take us to places we hadn't wanted or expected. 4. Learning to think of others rather than ourselves. 5. Being grateful for our sobriety because we remember what it was to not be sober. (this list is not necessarily in order)
I could go on and on. But I won't.
I think this sage advice works well for us:
Happiness is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have. (Rabbi Hyman Schachtel)
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. (Abe Lincoln)
"When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable fears. And these were fears which would make a serene and useful existence, at any financial level, quite impossible." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 121
I think I am going to make up my mind to be happy today and try to bring what I can to my workplace to make it a better place. God will help me with this, if I ask Him.