Monday, April 10, 2006

Grrrr...

I am going to post now. Probably shouldn't. I am feeling put-upon. Put out. Used. It is all bullshit of course. I work for a living. The key word there is WORK. It is not supposed to be "play". It is supposed to be work and that is why they pay me for it.

I got to work early this morning and then had to stay late, which isn't all that unusual, but didn't sit well with me today. Then it dawned on me that I need to be AT work by 6:00 a.m. tomorrow to get into a crappy car and drive 120 miles to where I need to be by 8:30 a.m.

Just writing this makes me want to erase it. It wasn't that long ago that I was so grateful to just be gainfully employed. I would have gladly welcomed a trip to a city 120 miles away. And would have relished a ride in an automobile with insurance and a valid registration!

It just takes looking at it from a different perspective. I just talked about this with my sponsee (she was surprised to hear me being this pissy - thank God it is unusual enough for her to be surprised) and my neighbors and I didn't see it from another perspective. But writing it down does it for me. That is why I do a WRITTEN 10th Step inventory. It is different to write it down.

Speaking of which, I better get ready to end my day, and write my 10th step inventory, and get myself to bed so that I can be up at 4:00 a.m.

8 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Stay strong sista!
I see you,
JJ

Sober Chick said...

Thank you for letting this out and being courageous to share it. We need to feel appreciated for all we do whether it is as a friend, sponsor or employee. I hope that your 10th will shed some light on today and may that light be there when you wake up tomorrow morning.

Scott said...

yeah, nothing like an honest post! I cant wait to hear your reaction when you come back and read this again after a day or two... Seeing the truth about ourselves, down on paper (or screen) really lends great perspective. You know that, thats why you posted this! Good stuff, girl!!

AAwoken said...

Ahhhh...how our perspective changes. Perhaps I should say - our ego changes. It's all ego my dear, all ego. I think the shrinks call it reframing. Helps, but not as much a humility.

Lex-Sunshine said...

seems like we're all going through a challenging patch of life right now. Keep on Keepin' on - this too shall pass.........

Trudging said...

Hey I can relate!!

Shannon said...

well there missy its ok to get pissy... LOL

I came to that realization, I didnt have a 120 mile commute I had a 50 mile commute, but I did it for 2 years, but I was resentful... because of the 1 1/2-2 hr commute on I-5 everyday... and then the time I put into work 9+ hrs a day, so I was away from my child, away from home, my friends and meetings for like 13 +hrs a day...
I made a descion, and it was hard, to look for work in my town... and I found one... its a 20 minute commute sometimes 25, but its a lot less time to travel... but I hate my job so what do I know... LOL good luck and this too shall pass... sending a hug to ya

dAAve said...

Dear Ms Pissy

Writing is good. It would be much more difficult to think your blog.

yours in service
HP