Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sunday Morning

Just thought I would add a spring-y picture for cheer.

I just got home from a meeting of the Morning After Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was my home group for years, and truth be told (which it always is eventually), it is more my home group than what I currently call my home group. It was good to be there.

Yesterday was just plain hard. I kept forgetting that my cat was no longer here. It is a sick feeling to realize she is gone. I went to the grocery store which is my habit on Saturday morning, and realized I am not calling my son to find out what he wants for dinner tomorrow. I was crying in the produce section of the grocery store - I miss him so much it hurts physically. When I went to Home Depot, I walked through the painting section and started crying there - my recently deceased friend Eddie was a painter and it just hit me that Eddie is gone when I walked by the painters caps, overalls, etc. It was just that kind of day.

But I can thank God that I am capable of feeling love and feeling loss as well as joy. I don't like feeling bad, but I can be grateful that I can feel bad without going off the deep end and getting drunk or needing to call the suicide hot line.

And more good news is that yesterday I thoroughly cleaned my house. It looks so nice. No more cat hair. I actually know how to replace screens, so I will be doing that on all my windows - the screens are all clawed up.... and today my daughter is going to come over and take me to Home Depot to get a new screen door - it will fit in her Blazer. Maybe I'll take her out for lunch. Maybe I'll take pictures of lunch!


dAAve said...

I've never heard of a Blazer with a screen door. Does the Chevy dealership sell those too, besides Home Depot?

Mary Christine said...

The screen was between us in the car - it was like being at confession.

Alexis said...

Beautiful flowers!!! LOL at the screen comment - sounds like a recovering Catholic to me! : )

Trudging said...

Be good to yourself. You have a lot going on.

Sober Chick said...

"But I can thank God that I am capable of feeling love and feeling loss as well as joy. "

Despite my recent "funk" I am grateful that I can feel everything. I trust that my emotions are a gift that needs not to be supressed.

You seem to forever see the light even when it is dark and rainy outside.

Da Gal said...

what a BEAUTIFUL picture. You are beautiful too and thank you for sharing. Love the screen story!