21 years and 51 weeks of sobriety. Last night I spent a couple of hours looking at my old journals. I am searching for the journal of the year I got sober. I can find every one but that one. I am sure I pulled it aside at one point or another just to keep it safe, and so I would be able to find it! Ha! But it was very enlightening to look back at the years. I started keeping my journal electronically about 10 years ago and really haven't looked back at the old notebook ones since then.
Having written all of that, I guess I should continue to say more about it.... my impression was that no matter what was going on, and there was plenty of huge stuff, I was always grateful to be sober, and my sobriety was always the central point of my life. I think that is the only way I survived.
This morning I need to get out of here and get to the gym to run 3 miles on the treadmill. I didn't work out yesterday because I felt tired and sluggish and it was too freaking hot to even drive to the gym!
"The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear -- primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get somethign we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 76