Monday, July 17, 2006

Hot Morning in Mid-July

21 years and 51 weeks of sobriety. Last night I spent a couple of hours looking at my old journals. I am searching for the journal of the year I got sober. I can find every one but that one. I am sure I pulled it aside at one point or another just to keep it safe, and so I would be able to find it! Ha! But it was very enlightening to look back at the years. I started keeping my journal electronically about 10 years ago and really haven't looked back at the old notebook ones since then.

Having written all of that, I guess I should continue to say more about it.... my impression was that no matter what was going on, and there was plenty of huge stuff, I was always grateful to be sober, and my sobriety was always the central point of my life. I think that is the only way I survived.

This morning I need to get out of here and get to the gym to run 3 miles on the treadmill. I didn't work out yesterday because I felt tired and sluggish and it was too freaking hot to even drive to the gym!

"The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear -- primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get somethign we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 76


Trudging said...

I bet you find those journals one day.

dAAve said...

We haven't had an e-party lately.
I predict that next week, on your 22nd birthday, there may just be an e-party.
I'm bringing the potato salad.

psychbaby said...

I'll bring the grape juice!

DG - trudgingtheroad said...

>>> no matter what was going on, and there was plenty of huge stuff, I was always grateful to be sober <<<

anything is possible with this attitude.

>>> "Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands" <<<

We sound so ... ummmm.... selfish.

Sober Chick said...

I know I have said this to you before, You are an inspiration to many just beginning this battle and discovering the spirituality of living sober. There is no way that I could trust this can be done without those that have walked before. I look to you for hope and guidance that I can get thru whatever crosses my path.

Happy Monday, hope you had a rewarding jog and stay cool, it is hot out there.

Anonymous said...

You inspire me so much MC :)
By your very simple and gracious gratitude for living well.
You always share with us both the
personal stuff to triathalony
work-out stuff..I just love it here.
One day I am going to get my bike fixed and then I will have a picture of me on it just for you..granted ..its a total
Potsy Webber bike(Happy Days LOL)..
it is still a bike..and granted..
I won't be riding anywhere near , oh I don't know...
I want to get in shape like you...!
Thanks for sharing , always.

Shannon said...

I remembered a few years ago I found my journal from my first year of sobriety, and I stunned like you...I dont know if stunned is what I mean, but I had HUGE crap going on, and all I kept writting too was how grateful I was to be sober, to have GOD, my GOD, WOW

Shannon said...

you and me are JULY sober brats happy 21 years and 51 weeks of sobriety WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!.

lash505 said...

Ft. Collins, CO ranked 1 in place to live. SD not even listed, probably because it's hot here.

Karen B said...

Thanks, I hope I still have a journal of my first year. All I have is the notebook of the step work I did my first year. The journal will turn up when you're not looking for it. 22 that's huge!Thanks for my sobriety you have a great message.

Scott said...

I am bringing the fat free yogurt and blueberries!

MC, I agree that the only way you survived was to keep your sobriety at the center of everything you were doing (and still do). My sponsor taught me that nothing can come ahead of sobriety if I am to live a sober useful, peaceful life. Everything I think I need, find myself concerned or fearful over will come (or not) as a reuslt of living a sober life.

good stuff, good luck journal hunting!

peace to you!


Hot hot hot hear too.
I see you,

Gwen said...

Great post. I love looking back at the things I have written in previous years. It keeps me grateful and reminds me I am on a continuous journey.

Fear fear fear~ yuck yuck yuck~