Thanks for all of your well-wishes and support yesterday for my Governing Body report. It did go well, but I did get asked the "deer in the headlights" question. After the meeting, I phoned my statistics instructor (see? it IS a good thing I am auditing the biostatistics class) and got her to help me answer the question. Later in the day I was able to e-mail this person who had asked the question and explain to her that I had run an "Independent Sample t Test" and found that the difference between our facility's number and the national mean was indeed statistically significant - and the p value of .004 would indicate that there was very little chance that the difference was due to random error! Isn't that freaking exciting?!?!?!
I am not working out this morning because I was up WAY too late with Mr. Sweetie Man last night.
Which leads me to another topic. I have had a few comments recently about the ridiculously early time that I wake up in the morning. I do not set the alarm, I just wake up when I wake up - with absolutely no danger whatsoever that I may be late for work. Sleeping until 6:00 a.m. (which I did this morning) is sleeping very very late for me. Early-morning waking is a feature of depression! I have had a life long battle with depression, which surprises a lot of people since I mostly seem really cheerful and upbeat. It is not the same thing as a bad mood or a down day. It is an illness. I am so grateful to say that it is currently under control and has been for the last several years. But it takes a lot of diligence for me to maintain a non-depressed life.
This is why I laughingly call myself "high maintenance". It is not bling and expensive cars that I need though. What I need is a good amount of sleep, regular meals of good food - no white stuff (sugar, pasta, white bread, etc.), daily alone time, daily social time, daily exercise (the more extreme the better!), daily writing, and constant attention to not drifting into illness.
Notice that I didn't throw meetings, daily prayer and meditation, and working with other alcoholics into that mix - even though I need them even more than any of that other stuff, because meetings, prayer, and other alcoholics are my lifeblood - they are what I need to stay alive. The other stuff I need in order to "feel" good. By the Grace of God, I don't need medications today. But if I did all that stuff, as well as the steps of AA, and still needed them, I would take them.
I just felt the need to clarify. I think I might sound a bit more virtuous than I really am when I talk about getting up at 4:00 a.m., and going out for a bike ride followed by a run, or a swim in a mountain lake, followed by a bike ride, etc. These are things I really enjoy and thank God they are the treatment for an illness I have.
"I used to be ashamed of my condition and so didn't talk about it. But nowadays I freely confess I am a depressive, and this has attracted other depressives to me. Working with them has helped a great deal." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 231