Yesterday at the Morning After meeting, a man looked me in the eye and told me to thank my son for him - for going to Iraq. I started crying then. I have been feeling shakey and slightly sick since then. I don't know why that is what started it.
In the meeting, I was sitting next to Denny. Denny took me to my first meeting on July 24, 1984 (yes, I have a birthday coming up.) We were talking after the meeting and we laughed when we recalled that his sons used to babysit for my kids when I went to meetings with him in the early days. Right now I cannot imagine that I was ever 32 years old and that my son was 7 and the girls were 5. In many respects, I can remember my first day of sobriety as if it were yesterday, but when I think that I am now 54, my son is 29, my daughters are 27 - that is a long time ago.
I know that people want to have decades of sobriety. There is a lot of wonderful stuff that comes with that. Not the least of which is the decades of a pretty decent life lived. However, if anyone asked me, I would suggest to a newcomer or someone in their first couple of years to enjoy each moment. Enjoy your kids while they are young. Enjoy your friends in Alcoholics Anonymous. Do not wish your life away by wishing you had more years or more money or more anything.
"We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 133