Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Ash Wednesday

I am very excited about going to church this morning and getting my ashes. I don't know exactly why I love Ash Wednesday so much, but I do.
At 9:30 I have to give two presentations - annual reports of committees I chair. I have recommendations from both of the committees and I pray that I can present them in such a way to convince the powers that be that we need to take action. Most likely I will not be able to do this though. I have been through this enough times to realize that I will be asked to go back to my committees and do more study, get more facts, etc. I hate to go back and tell them I was not successful. They never see it as my lack of success though. Thank God for the wonderfully supportive people with whom I work.

Tonight my new (but not newest) sponsee will come over and we will start our journey through the big book. I hope she will follow through with all twelve steps and the whole book. It usually takes close to a year. It is a wonderful process and it will be good for me.

Thanks to that bearded gentleman from the Big Sky Country for sharing this with me - back in the day when it seemed no one else could help. The day I beat up a clown. Yes, I really beat up a clown, and he weighed 300 lbs. Sitting around a table at an AA clubhouse, he called me a name I could not accept. I had close to 5 years of sobriety then, but I went into a rage blackout and attacked the clown. My friend pulled me off the clown, and unfortunately, I broke my friend's watch - and I hurt the 300 lb. clown. And surprisingly, the Club threw the clown out, but not me, which really shocked me. Was I ready to do a First Step on a more profound level that day? Yeah. And did God see fit to put my friend in my life to take my through the big book in a way I had never been before? (Even though I had been through the steps several times before then.) Yeah. I really credit that experience, as awful as it was, for saving my life. And yes, the clown did make amends to me, and I made amends to him, and when we see each other at meetings or funerals today, we warmly hug each other. There IS recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous.

So today, instead of being an angry lunatic hanging out at an AA clubhouse, I am on my way to church, then I will head off to my office, give a couple of presentations, and then at the end of the day I will head home - meet a newly sober woman in AA and share what my friend shared with me. Wow! I LOVE sobriety!

AND I got an e-mail from my son today!

"Faith is more than our greatest gift; its sharing with others is our greatest responsibility. May we of AA continually seek the wisdom and the willingness by which we may well fulfill that immense trust which the Giver of all perfect gifts has placed in our hands." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 13


Pam said...

Only in recovery...could beating up a clown turn into a magical life changing event.....and then years later bring comic relief. (hee hee) I wish you much luck today with your presentation!!!


I like that "bearded gentleman from the Big Sky Country" and the clown story.
I like the fact that you are so caring and loving and full of AA.
I like it that you heard from your son.
I like YOU,

Scott W said...

I bet God will present those presentations just the way they need to be presented. Thanks for keeping the walk all bright and shiny.

Christine said...

happy you got to hear from your son!

AAwoken said...

You beat up a clown? You constantly surprise me Ms. G. A clown.....that made my day brighter.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Thank God for the wonderfully supportive people with whom I work.

dAAve said...

Thanks for clowining around long enought to share your life with us.

drive-by dAAve from C.R.

BigSkymAAck said...

It is good to be able to look back on some of the turning points in our lives, and laugh, at those that seemed so tragic at the time. I have been told that the sign of a great writer is one that can take you through a tragedy make you laugh, then see the redemption in it.
I laughed, I cried, then felt the warmth. I am so glad that, that son of your finally got a message out.

BigSkymAAck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shannon said...

Thank you for sharing that.
I love sobriety too!
I hope your reports went well. and I am so glad you got an email from your son!

That is awesome going through the book with a sponsee... hmmm it has been a little while since I have done that myself... good idea

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

Thanks for sharing about the clown.. I didn't get a chance to see our jolly friend this trip. Way too much to do for only a week. I also miss meetings. Thanks for being online, as I always enjoy your down to earth notes of recovery.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post - it was was I needed at this very moment...
Dammit I need AA

also - you got an e-mail from your son!
how awesome :)
I hope he reports an "all is well" note to you. Prayers always, MC.

Thanks for everything
- LD

Redhead Gal said...

Great story. Great plans for the day. I hope it all worked out for you.

Meg Moran said...

your story played like a little movie..I loved it! I go through the first 164 pgs slowly with sponsees too and always find so much more to love and talk about. Very cool....