Friday, February 09, 2007

Inspired but tired.


I went back to bed this morning and slept until after 7. That is just crazy. I don't know how I can be this tired. I didn't run this morning or yesterday morning. And that is OK. Tomorrow I will have a long weekend run. Today I get to wear a new sweater! My daughter and I went shopping at lunch time and bought a bunch of stuff at ridiculously low prices! I love it when that happens! And when your favorite color is green, you can frequently find clothing of your favorite color on the CLEARANCE RACK! Imagine!
Last night I was reminded again how wrong I can be. At the 5:30 meeting, I was trying my best to ignore whispering between a man I am interested in (that I have deliberately not talked about in my blog) and a woman sitting next to him. It was really pissing me off. (Yes, I do have green eyes, and a teensy bit of the green eyed monster.) I am grateful I didn't shoot them any dirty looks or do anything else inappropriate. After the meeting, I saw them talking, he nodded towards me, and she came over and told me she has six days sober, wants to work the steps, and needs a sponsor. Of course I will be her sponsor! I haven't sponsored anyone that new in years. It will be good for me.
I still have not heard from my son. This is a real "where the rubber hits the road" experience. I can talk all I want about letting go, trusting God, turning my thoughts to others, etc., but this is where the truth is borne out. I have some real shakey moments, where I feel like I am about to dissolve. I am so grateful that I have years of sober living to draw on. I really think we can draw on the experiences and know that we will be OK.
"Today my life is filled with miracles big and small, not one of which would ever have come to pass had I not found the door of Alcoholics Anonymous." -- Alcoholics Anonymous (4th ed.), p. 475

8 comments:

lushgurl said...

Sometimes just being in the moment is the toughest thing to do, especially when the moment is fraught with worry.
You are strong and an inspiration to me and others and you will be OK, no matter what confronts you...
BIG HUG and prayers for you! xox

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Thank you for the info about Acron. Still got a lot to learn.

Praying your son is safe and well.

Christine said...

what a great green!

How awesome to have a newcomer directed to you

praying for your son and you

thank you for being a part of my community of women
love you

Tab said...

I cannot imagine those moments you must experience as a Mother of a son who is fighting in Iraq today.
All I hope is that you continue accepting all those feelings than embracing the program that helps you stay strong and healthy and inspiring to us:)

Pam said...

Ah a newcomer will really help you focus on the program (whether you want to or not ;)
"Shakey moments" I'd call them Human Moments....Mama Moments... Treat yourself gently, lovingly and gently!
Maybe start off doing that with a new green sweater!!!

Big Sky Mack said...

That is alright finding ourselves wrong like that.
FAEA

Mark said...

We have so many military folks here in Savannah. I don't know what is going on with my son either except that perhaps the Army doesn't want him because of his heroin addiction. He's been out for a while...

Hang in there MC

Love that deal with the newcomer! Ain't the tenth step grand??? Restraint of tongue and pen! How many times have we been about to humiliate ourselves again but the steps have changed the way we act.

Gratitude Attack!!!

Love it :)

Scott said...

praying for you and your son, MC. Perhaps old HP sent this girl your way ( aren't ya glad you didn't act on your conclusions :-) ) to give you something to help you get through this difficult time with your son's deployment.

praying, as always, for God's Will and Grace for you all!