Last night when I got home from work and my 5:30 meeting, I had a phone message from my son-in-law. He and my daughter are no longer together. He has just gotten out of rehab - 3 months at the VA hospital. I am trying to be supportive of him without getting into the middle of the mess between he and my daughter, so actually I wasn't happy to see his number on my caller ID. I listened to his message, all about how great he feels and how good his life is today, and I sort of mentally rolled my eyes. You know the way someone with 90 days sounds... full of himself. Anyway, then he changed my mind about this when he said "my life is good, and a lot of it is because of you, thank you, I appreciate it."
At the meeting last night, I looked at the 3 new guys there who had raised their hands. I used to look at new guys with a lot of skepticism, I am now ashamed to say. But now I look and see someone's son or daughter, someone's wife or husband, someone's father or mother. Someone who would make a difference to their family and hosts of others in and out of AA, if only they could get sober.
I am humbled to get to be a part of this. I used to think I had to say something wise and wonderful. Now I realize that maybe all I need to do is smile. Maybe all I need to do is pat someone on the back, remember their name, and let them know that someone cares. Perhaps when I take another AA member out for a cup of coffee, a pizza, or a hot fudge sundae, I am doing 12 step work, even though it just feels like a social visit. Maybe God gets to use me this way. Maybe I get to be an example of living sober, with every breath I take. I find this very humbling. I can't believe that I get to be a piece, albeit a small one, of this mosaic of life. I am so grateful.
"Punishment never heals. Only love can heal." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 98
P.S. - why do I have to do word verification to publish this post?!?