Tuesday, February 27, 2007

God's Mosaic

Last night when I got home from work and my 5:30 meeting, I had a phone message from my son-in-law. He and my daughter are no longer together. He has just gotten out of rehab - 3 months at the VA hospital. I am trying to be supportive of him without getting into the middle of the mess between he and my daughter, so actually I wasn't happy to see his number on my caller ID. I listened to his message, all about how great he feels and how good his life is today, and I sort of mentally rolled my eyes. You know the way someone with 90 days sounds... full of himself. Anyway, then he changed my mind about this when he said "my life is good, and a lot of it is because of you, thank you, I appreciate it."

At the meeting last night, I looked at the 3 new guys there who had raised their hands. I used to look at new guys with a lot of skepticism, I am now ashamed to say. But now I look and see someone's son or daughter, someone's wife or husband, someone's father or mother. Someone who would make a difference to their family and hosts of others in and out of AA, if only they could get sober.

I am humbled to get to be a part of this. I used to think I had to say something wise and wonderful. Now I realize that maybe all I need to do is smile. Maybe all I need to do is pat someone on the back, remember their name, and let them know that someone cares. Perhaps when I take another AA member out for a cup of coffee, a pizza, or a hot fudge sundae, I am doing 12 step work, even though it just feels like a social visit. Maybe God gets to use me this way. Maybe I get to be an example of living sober, with every breath I take. I find this very humbling. I can't believe that I get to be a piece, albeit a small one, of this mosaic of life. I am so grateful.

"Punishment never heals. Only love can heal." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 98
P.S. - why do I have to do word verification to publish this post?!?


Christine said...

merely my opinion but I happen to believe you are a huge example of walking the talk

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

I used to look at new guys with a lot of skepticism,

I'm getting clean and sober (saying it with a big smile).

Shannon said...

Good Morning Mary Christine! I love this post, I know thats kind of generic to say, but I really love it, I appreciate how you shared your true feelings, and then to see you let go of ego and express gratitude of humility. You are an inspiration to me in so many ways- thank you for the part you play in my recovery

have a great day

PS I am up to 1.5 miles on my eliptiacal and then a speed walk of 1.5 miles YAY

Tab said...

MC, this post just confirms my hopes that new comers will always be welcomed when they are ready to get help.I am grateful you are on of those who will welcome them.
Thank you for sharing.

Sober Chick said...

You are so sweet MC. It just shows that no matter how much time one has in this program you will forever be growing . . . as long as you are open to it (and you are).

I feel "a part of" when invited to breakfast or tea. It is the greatest feeling in the world. Your actions of this, I can ttestify, are embraced by others that know lonliness all to well.


Trudging said...

Yes, I know how someone with 90 days sounds. Hang in there, God has a plan and the plan is good.

Dharmashanti said...

I have been thinking about that quote the past few days. Funny, that you include it in your post.

All of us were newly sober once, and some of us may once again be newly sober. Every day of sobriety is a gift.


lushgurl said...

AWWW, MC this is just another tribute to how great the program is. I too strive to be more like people such as you who are actually 'living' the program. It is one thing to spout what we have heard or read in the rooms and quite another to walk through it everyday.
You are a roll model to me (and others) I love your humility XOX

Pam said...

I believe that kindness and our time is the sweetest gift we can give a newcomer.....sounds to me like you've been doing that all along. If we can feel your warmth thru this blog.......imagine what the people you come in contact with must feel...you are a special girly girl.

Anonymous said...

All we have is 1 day at a time. I have managed to acumulate 654 days at 1 day at a time! Whenever I see a newcomer I say there I go! May god be with your son in law on this fantastic journey he has embarked upon! And even if he hasn't had his last drink yet I am glad that a seed has been planted. I grew up in the AA program I was put in rehab several times in my youth. I managed to get together a year and a half. When I married I put down the can only to pick up a man. That was 5 years of dry time. After the divorce my drinking picked up right where it left off at. It took me 13 years to get back to the program this time. I really feel that I am here to stay! I wasn't done getting my ass kicked. Maybe I didn't get it when it perhaps would have been more ideal, but thank God I knew I had somewhere to go when I had finally had enough. My prayers are with whatever God has in store for your daughter and son in law. And my prayers are with your son overseas. Much love to you MC and I had better get to bed so that I may be refreshed for my 655th day of sobriety. God Bless to All

lash505 said...

Wow what a twist and how cool is that. I will do the same.