I didn't feel like writing this morning - or doing anything else for that matter. So, I went to a 6:30 a.m. meeting. I even felt disconnected at the meeting. Nothing made sense to me, and nothing was funny, even though everyone else was laughing uproariously (is that a word? apparently so, wordcheck likes it.) After the meeting, I talked with my friend Larry, who agreed that no one was making sense this morning. After talking to him I was relieved that I wasn't unique in my perceptions, and I also realized how profoundly tired I am.
So instead of running, I went down to the best book store in the Universe - The Tattered Cover. I spent an hour or so picking out and buying a couple of books I want to read. Then I came home and went for a leisurely bike ride instead of a run. I am now going to eat lunch, take a nap, and get ready to watch at least part of the Academy Awards.
A friend from the 5:30 meeting called me this morning just to tell me how much she admires the way I handle the stress of having a son at war. That was a wonderful affirmation. She is a sweetheart. The new woman who asked me to sponsor her last Sunday still hasn't called, but I have seen her at meetings and talked to her. She said that one day this week she felt that she just could not stand the stress in her life and that she HAD to drink. But then she said she thought about me, and realized that she does not HAVE to drink. She can stay sober. Wow. That really touched my heart. I guess there is a reason for all the sharing I do, even when I feel like everyone must be sick to death of hearing from me.
"The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it." -- Alcoholics Anonymous (3rd ed.,) p. 553