I went to the 6:30 meeting this morning. For some reason, I sat like an old curmudgeon this morning and nearly everything pissed me off.
The meeting started with a woman who has not been sober very long - talking about going to a party tonight - where there will be lots of booze. And she is looking forward to showing everyone that she is sober! She is impervious to the temptations of booze!
And everyone said "oh, goodie goodie for you".
I said "the big book says we are neither cocky nor are we afraid." That if all the people who GOT sober in that meeting were still sober, we would have to hold the meeting at Mile High Stadium.
Maybe I have seen too many people go out recently. Maybe I am disturbed by the woman I sponsor who is lying again. She is drinking - and still going to meetings, and still talking to me. She is in her 60s, has a bad heart and a bad liver, I do not want to go to her funeral.
I am sober by the grace and perfect mercy of God. That's it. I am more grateful than words could begin to say. I wish everyone who got to AA was done drinking. I wish everyone who was done drinking could realize that they are out of good ideas. I wish everyone who was done drinking had already lost everything they needed out of their lives in order to stay sober. But that, unfortunately, is not always the case.
So I will go out and run this morning and by the time I have run 8 miles, I won't be worried and frustrated anymore. I will be a happy girl.
"If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 33