Today would have been one of my sponsees' first AA birthday. She called yesterday to tell me that she had been drinking for about a month. Drinking and going to meetings, and still calling me. She was so full of shame it was awful. She was so afraid to tell me that she was drinking.
I told her that she did what alcoholics do. We drink. I told her that I do not judge her and no one else has the right to judge her either. I told her she is an adult woman and I cannot force her to do anything, but I have attended enough funerals and I believe I will attend hers in short order if she continues to drink. She said she would go to a meeting and raise her hand. I will find out today if she did that. I pray she did. Literally, I pray she did. I pray for her every single day. She is such a beautiful person.
I told her that we are not able to keep ourselves sober. Only God can keep us sober. We have to cooperate a little, but that is about it.
That is why you will never ever hear me say....
Keep coming back, it works, IF YOU WORK IT.
It just works. God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. If I was able to WORK to stay sober, I would have gotten sober years before I ruined my marriage, caused trauma to my children, and withstood years of alcoholic misery.
In surrendering to God, and allowing Him to work in my life, I have been able to do things I could never have dreamed. God has fashioned me into a woman I had no idea even existed.
I pray that this beautiful woman can surrender to God and allow Him to work in her life.
"The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 43