Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The Third Step is Forever...

Forever, since that day in July 1984, to this day, my life is in God's hands. When I have tried to pry it back it has been disastrous.

So, I sat on my dream of going to nursing school, not telling anyone - thinking it would go away. It hasn't gone away, but yesterday something else got inserted into the equation.

I had a call in to the director of the program at the University from which I graduated. Yesterday she called me back. She said she had been thinking about me and was going to call me anyway. She offered me a job teaching. I told her I would have to consider it and call her back, but it was very exciting.

I would rather go to nursing school. But the truth is - it would be far wiser for me to grow up and teach in my own field - in which I have considerable experience and knowledge. I still haven't made a decision, but I think I am leaning toward making the "wise" decision. I have always wanted to teach and it would increase my income quite a bit. (It is a program for adults, so it is nights and weekends - I would keep my current job and add this on.)

So, since I am on vacation - I am going to a meeting this morning, then to church, then I am going to go to a movie this afternoon, and this evening I have a sponsee coming over. Sounds like a great day to me! Hope you all have a great sober day!

"True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 46


dAAve said...

I hope you don't over-extend yourself. You seem pretty busy as things are now.
Enjoy this day.

Pam said...

I think being on vacation will help you sort thru all of this. It's a lot to ponder, so it's a good thing that God knows you so well, it will help in to direct your thinking in the direction that is best for you.
Ya know, either way you go on this, it's still going forward!
Love ya, little rosebud.

Scott W said...

Nursing has a much higher burn out rate than teaching I would assume. Of course, assuming is dangerous.

Sounds like you needed to make the nursing decision because it had hung around for so long, and maybe that was so your head could clear to make way for the real job ahead of you. I am sure you and your HP will make the right decision.

Anonymous said...

"When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned." p. 100, BB
Ain't it the truth??!!
Ann P.

Trudging said...

The teaching sounds so fun! Dave is right, do not burn yourself out.

lushgurl said...

MC- I have missed stalking to ya sooooo much, as you are a constant source of inspiration, strength and hope to me.
I love that you have dreams- I never dared to dream lest they became nightmares!
I know that whatever you decide to persue will be the right thing for you- and you'll be great at it!
love you.

Scott B said...

Hope it works out for you. Becoming a nurse is something you do because you love nursing. If you do it just for the money you will not be happy. I love to listen to tapes of Karen G. of Venice, CA she is a nurse and a sober member of AA you can find her tapes on XA speakers she is a great speaker and I saw her speak one time in hermosa beach.

Scott said...

hmmm that is really exciting... and maybe you could do some sort of volunteer work as a "candy striper" (or whatever the term is now) in order to get your nursing fix...?? just a thought, you'll sort it all out with HP!

Christine said...

dreams can come true

Kathy Lynne said...

You're already a teacher:) I think Scott W. makes sense and you will know what to do.

Gwen R said...

It sounds like an incredible opportunity. Always a place for personal growth as well as professional. Only you know where God is calling you.

Have a beautiful day MC,
Love G~

MICKY said...

Fireman John said...
I spent 24 years serving my community in Fire Service.
I have spent the last 6 serving the Recovery community here in NW Connecticut.
FYI...neither career allows the element of rage. What have YOU done to serve your fellow man the last 31 YEARS??

Micky Said:
But are you SAVED, Johnny? I love you, Jack!! Do you love me?
"And if I should distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I should deliver my body to be burned, but I have no charity (love), it profits me nothing" (1Cor.13:3).
The "Greatest Love" in the Bible:
"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one's friends" (John 15:13).
Jesus the Messiah on a Cross... that's the "Greatest Love".
And if any day you feel depressed, or lonely, or hurt, or too old... if you ever feel that you are good for nothing... you are still good enough to be a "Saint" in Jesus Christ. Amen.

MICKY said...

Fireman John said...
Micky cannot grasp that an alky has had a happy childhood. Listen up micky; I was a euphoric drinker!
not masking or drowning any pain.

Dear Johnny
I imagine you are in denial? You have obviously repressed all your fear and pain (childhood) and AA is giving you a false sense of security (repressing your terror). You have quite a lot of RAGE, Jack? I imagine you could be quite a dangerous unit - waiting to explode. Unless you are a PSYCHOPATH? I love you, Jack! Do you love me?

MICKY said...

Shadow said...
as far a micky? he's nuts. i just delete, delete, delete. no use reading that rubbish!

My Dear Poor Pathetic, Shadow
What are we going to do with you, "Young Lady"? Are you attending DELETERS ANONYMOUS, like your fellow 12 Step DEMON (Kathy Lynne)?
HA! HA! HA! I love you, Shadow! Do you love me, Shadow? Are you a NUTTER, Shadow?

MICKY said...

Sharon Said:
My name is Sharon, and I am an alcoholic. The topic I'd like to discuss is sponsorship.
There's a great deal of information (and opinion) about sponsoring newcomers, but not much that I can find on sponsoring those with more time in, or those who had significant time, and relapsed. ( I currently sponsor 1 of each) What are your thoughts on this, particularly around approaching a 4th & 5th step with those who aren't newcomers, but who have old baggage and secrets they haven't dealt with. My own experience tells me that drowning my shame & secrets never worked, and it was only when I finally got completely honest that I actually felt sober.

Dear Sharon
1. A person or organization that helps pay for an event in return for advertising.
2. A person who promises to give money to a charity if another person completes a task or activity.
3. A person who proposes a new law. (Oxford English Dictionary).
An AA "Sponsor", is someone you abandon yourself to - usually a 13th Stepper. One is putting ones sanity at stake, by allowing another 12th Step DEMON to CONTROL (SPONSOR) one?

MICKY said...

Judith Said:
You know what, Micky? I am tired of you posting on my blog.
If it makes you feel any better, yes, I was sexually abused as a child. Does that make any fucking difference to you and your goddamn tirades and your crusade?
Quit posting on my blog. Show a little respect. If you have something that is actually helpful, say it. Otherwise BE GONE.
I don't believe in censorship, but I have deleted a couple of your posts because they are litter, in my opinion. I'm leaving this one up even though you probably have violated some sort of copyright by posting an article in full. Whatever. I hope you find some peace. Quit using my space to vent your lack of it. You are one sick puppy. Imagine all you want, wacko. Enjoy cut and splicing my words to your own twisted means. I've got better things to do than devote any more time to you. Adieu.

Hey, Judy don't make me mad
Take a drink and make it better
Remember to let Satan into your heart
You emotionally shutdown, 12 Stepper

Hey, Judy, don't be afraid
You are a raving psychopath
The minute you let AA under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Judith, refrain
Don't carry the Big Book upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that you are such a fool
You shape – shifting, demonic, reptile.

Hey, Judy! Don't let me down
You have found him, now go and get him
Remember, to let Bill Wilson into your heart
Then you can start to froth at the mouth.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Judy, begin
You're waiting for someone to 13th Step you
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Judy,
You'll do, you crazy 12 Step zombie

Hey, Judith, don't make it bad
Do a 5th Step and make it better
Remember to let the program into your heart
Then you can fart to make it better.


MICKY said...

I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ. He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight. I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed BRAIN STRUCTURE & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late. How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.
Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains:
Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.
Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making (BEDPAN]. Can you see what is happening to you, Christine? Ask Jesus to take control of your life, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your Big Book or use it as TOILET PAPER. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”, Mary? Were you sexually abused as a child, mary Christine? Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on a cross, for your sins? I love you, Mary! Do you love me?

Katia said...

I am struggling with giving things to God, but I understand your being torn academically and professionally. I am taking a year or two off when I graduate in May. I love academia, but wow, I need a break.

Have a wonderful weekend!