Saturday, February 02, 2008

Still thinking about Alaska...

Thinking about running 26.2 miles. Thinking about the training. Thinking about my nephew.

I thought long and hard about writing this here, and have decided after a couple of days of thinking about it, to share it with y'all.

The nephew who lives in Alaska is one of my favorites. I have four nephews, and I love each of them in their own way, but I am closer to a couple of them. This nephew is one I am closer to. We lived in the same small town in New Mexico when he was little - and I was younger. He got to witness a lot of my drinking.

When he called on Wednesday night - he sounded very serious. He said he wanted to talk with me about a "couple of things." The first was that he and his wife were very excited about me coming to visit. The second was: He kind of cleared his throat, his voice got kind of funny, and he told me he got a book... a "big" book. It took me a beat to realize what he was saying to me. I had no idea. I do have one or two nephews I think have drinking problems, he is not one of them. He said he hid it well... which I understand, that was the kind of drinker I was.

He is on a business trip and had a black out on Sunday night and has no idea what happened. (Oh, dear Lord, that is the worst feeling in the world, I can remember it so well!) He said his drinking has been getting worse and worse, and he had recently quit for 6 months. I told him no one other than alcoholics quit drinking - they don't need to! Anyway, he is going to be back at home this weekend and will go to his first face to face meeting. He has already picked it out of the directory.

In 2008, it is different. He has already read the big book, and doesn't even own one! He has attended a bunch of online meetings, and has a feel for the lingo and what we are about. I do believe he will attend a meeting this weekend and get serious about staying sober. You know how you can just tell when someone is done drinking? That is what he sounded like. I might just be indulging in wishful thinking for my beloved nephew, but I don't think so.

I think it is funny that I wrote on Monday morning that it was just an ordinary day, some people would be born, some would die, etc., and finally, some would come to AA and get sober. Apparently on that day, it was my sweet little (38 year old) nephew who got sober.

When these things happen to my loved ones, I think about that first meeting he will attend. And realize that every day, we see the precious loved ones of others. I always try to see that the new lady with the dirty hair is someone's daughter, someone's niece. That cute new guy with the tattoos and piercings is someone's brother. It is important. We obscure our lovableness in our years of our disease, but we need to be able to dig down and see it in others.

9 comments:

Pam said...

Because I am the mother of an alcoholic, I am SO mindful of young women in meetings. When my daughter went to her first meeting, I prayed so hard that some woman there would come up to her after the meeting with a phone number. Hoping she was going to meetings with "good" recovery, hoping no one 13th stepped her. It was hard to stay away from her AA club house and not go tell them all how to run their meetings and treat my precious daughter ;)
Knowing he will see you, may have been a great incentive for your nephew to try and get his act together before your arrival. Just think, he will have meetings for you already picked out when you go!

dAAve said...

That's great that he decided to confide in you and that he has decided to get to a meeting.
You guys will have another trait in common about which to talk while you're up there. Maybe do a meeting together.
A family affair.

Zane-nawwaa said...

What an example of the miracle ofbeing an example. I have a little niece (55) that I wish this would happen to. Keep us posted. He is indeed luckky to have such a sober and inspirational aunt. Happy days to you and yours.

Gledwood said...

those bears are so entertaining: they remind me of my pet hamsters!!

great blog here...

have some love!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

it's a tag so pass it on~!!

Anonymous said...

Attraction rather than promotion. Mary, you have carried the message by your action and have attracted this into your life.

Rod :-)

Scott W said...

This post represents what I appreciate the most from the program of AA, that when I am moved such as I was by this--my heart expands--because it is trying to hold more love and my eyes tear up and I know. I just know.

Kathy Lynne said...

Indeed, a gift to you and to your nephew. This marathon is going to be so much more.

Scott said...

MC, another moving post... My prayers are with you and your nephew... It sounds like this trip to Alaska is a definite "meant to be"type deal. And now you can share the miracle of recovery with him face to face... What a blessing!

Banana Girl said...

MC,
Your sherpa duties are expanding! I am so happy for your nephew, your post brought me back to my first meeting. What a gift to give and to receive! I think it is harder with people we know as family. But it is just part of the journey and giving it over. Bless you and your nephew as you trudge a new marathon together.
Love U

J.