Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thursday Morning

It is now 52 weeks that I have managed to get to church by 5 a.m., to sit for an hour in quiet prayer. Oh, how I love this time. This morning, however, was the first time that the alarm didn't wake me immediately. I am such a light sleeper that I set the alarm clock on very very quiet music, and it normally wakes me at the first note. This morning, I woke up after the music had been playing for 3 minutes. I think this speaks to how overwhelmingly tired I am.

There is nothing huge on my horizon today. I need to make my reservations for my Alaska trip and will probably do that today. It is so hard to figure out what to do in a place you have never been and don't know what you'll love about it. I will likely book a train trip (for the day after my marathon) from Anchorage to Denali, stay two nights at Denali (Mt. McKinley), and come back to Anchorage. My nephew wants to do some cool stuff, like a fishing charter, back around Anchorage, so after a few days away, I will come back to his house. And I will get to go to AA meetings with my beloved nephew! It just all sounds too fantastic to believe. I have wanted to go to Alaska all my life. I spent most of last evening looking at websites of places to go. This is the kind of "problem" I like to have!

I better get going.

25 comments:

dAAve said...

Seize this day!

Scott W said...

I guess that's what the promises are all about!

Bill said...

I always feel better when I start my day with prayer and meditation.

I woke up late today, too! I wake up to NPR at 5am, and this morning I incorporated the newscast into my dream...LOL. When the body needs rest, it will get it one way or another.

Gwen R said...

That is fantastic to hear about your quiet prayer. I have been part of a meditation group at my church and missed this week because of the total exhaustion.

Your trip to Alaska sounds wonderful. My cousin Betsy lives in Juno and plays her guitar for tourists to make a living. A true blue granola. I love her.

Luv ya!
G~

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Zane-nawwaa said...

Oh Dear. The devil from down under strikes again.

Mary Christine said...
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nic said...

Good for you!
I wish I were more like you; I wish I could get up and get going earlier, but unfortunately I'm a last minute kinda person.

I hope you have a wonderful time in Alaska! It sounds like a brilliant trip!

Syd said...

I have the alarm set for 5:15 AM but often hit the snooze button until 5:30 or so. For some reason, I'm more tired than usual lately. Your Alaska trip sounds great.

Pam said...

wow, it does not seem like a whole year ago that you undertook the Thursday Morning Prayer time. I remember exactly the day you wrote about it!
I've been reading the last few days entries....I know you are struggling, but I think the Alaska trip is going to be a great motivator for you emotionally and physically.
Thanks for all the good prayers and thoughts for me this week little cucumber salad.

MICKY said...

CULT OF NECROPHILIA:
by Devin Sexson

Alcoholics Anonymous is a "cult of necrophilia." I am not saying here that there is some kind of bizarre sexual ritual involving dead bodies in AA meetings. What this means is that there is a fascination with death. The cult revolves around death. I remember when I went to AA I would here the common statement, something to the effect of, "I felt terrible earlier today, then I went to a meeting and now I feel just great!"


I wondered why I never felt great after a meeting. Meetings usually had no effect on me but often I found them down right creepy. Why? Because I am not a necrophiliac, I don't get off on sitting around talking about how we will die of alcoholism if we don't ingest this religious crap.


But the creepiness goes a little deeper than that. In order for the cult to function some members must die from alcoholism. Those members who "cannot or will not" resign themselves to the religio-fascist structure of the cult can only be of value to the cult if they are:
1. Constantly relapsing.
2. Dead.


Consider these examples:
All of us in A.A. know the tremendous happiness that is in our sobriety, but there are also tragedies. My sponsor, Jackie, was one of these. He brought in many of our original members, yet he himself could not make it and died of alcoholism.
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 239.


After being dry two weeks and sticking close to Jackie, all of a sudden I found I had become the sponsor of my sponsor, for he was suddenly taken drunk. I was startled to learn that he had only been off the booze for a month or so himself when he brought me the message!
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 245.


The Boston group provided us with a fresh wonder and a big heartbreak, too. Its founder could never get sober himself and he finally died of alcoholism. Paddy was just too sick to make it. Slip followed slip, but he came back each time to carry A.A.'s message, at which he was amazingly successful. Time after time the group nursed him back to life. Then came the last bender, and that was it. This very sick man left behind him a great group and a triple-A rating for valor. His first two successes, Bert C. and Jennie B., carry on to this day.
-- Alcoholics Anonymous Comes Of Age, William G. Wilson, page 96.


AA was already established in South Africa when Marty arrived, with a ready pool of interested and willing citizens. It had been started in that country by a relapsing alcoholic, "Johnny Appleseed." He was a gifted businessman and highly successful proponent of AA, but he could not stay sober. Regardless, wherever he traveled and got drunk and sobered up, he left literature about AA.
-- A Biography of Mrs. Marty Mann: The First Lady of Alcoholics Anonymous, Sally Brown and David R. Brown, page 224.


What is wrong with this picture? Why are these men sacrificing their own lives for the good of the cult? These are clear, unmistakable examples of how the cult values conversion more than sobriety, and more than the life and well-being of the individual.

I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD

MICKY said...

Dearest Mary,
Why do you DELETE my comments? i don't delete your comments?

Can you see what a CONTROL FREAK, you are?

What are you scared of, Mary?

You and your fellow BLOGGERS (DEMONS) are stopp9ing others from seeing the truth.

You are Terrified "Little Girl," Mary?

I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD

MICKY said...

The Alcoholics Anonymous program has borrowed from medicine, psychiatry, and religion. It has taken from these what it wanted and combined them into the program which it considers best suited to the alcoholic mind and which will best help the alcoholic to recover.

The results have been very satisfactory. We do not try to improve on the A.A. program. Its value has been proved by the success it has had in helping thousands of alcoholics to recover.

It has everything we alcoholics need to arrest our illness. Do I try to follow the A.A. program just as it is?

Response:
Borrowed from medicine huh? Yes it borrowed the delusional rambling of Bill Wilson’s ass doctor who made a wild guess that maybe he had an allergy.

Lets see the roots of psychiatry ...the fathers of psychiatry were occultists and humanists who decided that anyone who believed in a higher power were nuts.

Yes, AA is a religion all right, it’s called PAGANISM.

Alcoholic mind? Once again nothing scientific to back up such claims...more invented crap - courtesy of the BIG BOOK.

Yes its helped thousands.... That would be about it. Why don’t you mention the millions of lives AA has destroyed?

If you follow the program just as it is, you too can become a mental midget trapped in a CULT for the rest of your life.

Don’t forget to mention the fact that he (Bill Wilson) couldn’t overcome his own habits with his own program. He smoked until the day he died...from emphysema. He was also a sex addict who cheated on his wife habitually.

I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.

MICKY said...

12-Step Horror Stories:
True Tales of Misery, Betrayal, and Abuse in AA, NA and 12-Step Treatment, edited by Rebecca Fransway

Reviewed by Jackie J.

The Introduction, Foreword, and Preface contain a great deal of anti-AA editorial commentary. The basic points are that AA is bad for some (or most) people and that people who contradict the belief-systems of AAers are demonized. Pro-AA individuals who are easily offended might want to skip the introductory material. The horror stories themselves are fascinating reads and only a few had an entirely negative view of AA. Even avid 12-steppers should find something of value and little to resent in most of these stories.

Some stories are very detailed, chapter-length tales of 13-stepping and compulsory AA-attendance. Other stories are no more than a few paragraphs long. Each writer clearly has an independent and unique perspective on their AA experiences. Most names were changed to protect the innocent, although some writers insisted that their names be proudly displayed.

Each story-teller drew a unique conclusion from their experience. The differing opinions treated the subject with a basic fairness that was much more open-minded and even-handed than the title suggests. Every writer was clear that they were writing solely about their own experience and most insisted that they did not intend that the reader jump to conclusions about the organization as a whole.

Some contributers were primarily interested in reforming AA and fixing AA's internal problems by opening a healthy dialog within meetings, making newcomers aware of stalkers within the organization, and limiting the authority of old-timers (who may be more interested in protecting their friends and/or their egos than supporting the organization). They were motivated by a desire to create a better environment for those seeking recovery.

Some people protested the systematic sexism or racism they encountered in the organization. One mentioned the lack of tolerance for non-Judeo-Christian religious preferences. Male and female alcoholics are clearly held to different standards of behavior in many AA groups.

Others told of the shock they experienced when they were admitted into treatment centers and realized that they were in an abusive (or religious) environment that they were unprepared to cope with. They related how they and their families were pressured into accepting a pro-forma explanation of their troubles. Most of the writers' scorn was reserved for treatment centers and the counselors (most often characterized as deranged) who ran them.

Some stories dealt with suicides and other destructive behaviors that AA members were driven to when they were denied the support of the group for some actual or philosophical conflict with the organization. Several instances had to do with people being encouraged to quit taking prescribed medications for mental illnesses in order to become authentically "sober" according to the standards of their group.

Very few readers insisted that they would not refer a friend to AA after their experiences, although most of them were emphatic that they themselves would not return to "those rooms" again. Several had discovered alternate methods of treatment, others felt that they had taken charge of their lives and recovery sufficiently to no longer need the support of a group to maintain their sobriety.

The differing points of view and perspectives of the contributors gives lie to the myth that all alcoholics are alike.

These story-tellers all tell another story - the story of their resilience and commitment to sobriety regardless of the obstacles. Interestingly enough, most of them arrived at a desire to act to change their circumstances and found the courage to speak out about the injustices they suffered in AA after four or five years of sobriety.
www.unhooked.com/booktalk/12_step_horror_stories.htm

I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.

MICKY said...

THE SACRED BULL:
I imagine 12 STEPPERS have sold their souls to the devil. Fortunately, I was saved through the power of Jesus Christ, but for many years had been exposed to the evil “satanic cult” (Alcoholics Anonymous) Wilson (AA) has prostituted himself & deluded millions (12 Step Groups) by worshipping the god Moloch (Ba’al the Sacred Bull). It all started with his (Wilson) “drug induced hallucination”….

Here are references to seances and other psychic events….

Bill would…”get” these things …long sentences, word by word would come through….” (22)

, he asked for guidance….The words began tumbling out with astonishing speed….(23)

So A.A.’s 12 Steps were actually received verbatim from the demonic world. It is not surprising, then, that the effect of A.A. upon many of its members is to lead them into occult involvement. In 1958, Wilson wrote to Sam Shoemaker,

Throughout A.A., we find a large amount of psychic phenomena, nearly all of it spontaneous. Alcoholic after alcoholic tells me of such experiences… run nearly the full gamut of everything we see in the books.

In addition to my original mystical experience, I’ve had a lot of such phenomenalism myself.(24)

Wilson’s “original mystical experience” was his alleged “conversion” –a classic occult encounter: “Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy…it burst upon me that I was a free man…a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers! ‘ A great peace stole over me….”(25)

This was not the “God of the preachers” but the one who transforms himself “into an angel of light” (2 Cor 1l:l4) - a light that often transforms those involved in the occult. The experience was so profound that Wilson never touched alcohol again. Satan would he more than willing to deliver a man from alcoholism in this life if thereby he could ensnare him for eternity and inspire him to lead millions to the same destruction!

Wilson joined the Oxford Group and regularly attended its meetings at Calvary Church (NY), pastored by Episcopalian Sam Shoemaker. Shoemaker urged his hearers to “accept God however they might conceive of him….”(26) Here was the origin of Step 3’s “God as we understood him.”

God does not respond to those who call upon false gods. Jesus said, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (Jn 17:3). God’s judgment comes upon them “that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Thes 1:8).

I will set my face against that man & his family & will cut off from their people both him & all who follow him in prostituting themselves to Molech. I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums & spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, & I will cut him off from his people. (Leviticus 20: 5, 6)

Moloch the God Ba’al, the Sacred Bull, was widely worshipped in the ancient Near East and wherever Carthaginian culture extended. Baal Moloch was conceived under the form of a calf or an ox or depicted as a man with the head of a bull.

Hadad, Baal or simply the King identified the god within his cult. The name Moloch is not the name he was known by among his worshippers, but a Hebrew Moloch (in the Septuagint Greek translation of the Old Testament), or Molech (Hebrew), is no different than the word Melech or king, transformed by interposing the vowels of bosheth or ’shameful thing’. translation. The written form. He is sometimes also called Milcom in the Old Testament.

I, MICKY, AM THE TRUTH & BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS THE LORD.

MICKY said...

I LOVE JESUS SO MUCH

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE ANY CAUSE OR REASON TO BE ASHAMED TO LOVE JESUS.

Is not the time coming, and the day hastening, when covetous men shall be ashamed of loving the world, and voluptuous men ashamed of loving their pleasures, and ambitious men ashamed of loving their honors?

For is it not a horrid shame, that a rational creature should be such a sot as to love sin which is most loathsome, and not to love Jesus who is most lovely? to love deformity, and not beauty?

Oh shame, shame! It is a shame that sin should have such esteem, and Jesus such great contempt put upon him. But shame shall before long confound these now shameless wretches, when they shall cry out, "We are ashamed that we loved profits, and not Jesus- houses, lands, lusts, and not Jesus.

This is the confusion of our faces, and shame covers us-- that we should be so foolish, and so blind, that we had not sense, nor reason, to distinguish between sin, which is the greatest and most odious evil, and Jesus who is the greatest and most lovely good." But the time will never come, the day will never be, that a gracious soul shall be ashamed of his sincere love to Jesus Christ.


I, MICKY, AM AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE TO ALL PEOPLE.

MICKY said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN:
From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden
and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

A typical interpretation of the verse might go as follows:
· For God so loved the world... - God is a God of love and this love motivates his action in the rest of the verse
· ...that he gave... - there was God giving something, his son as a sacrifice
· ...his only begotten[1] Son... - the human Jesus of Nazareth is also the Son of God, and also the Second Person of the Trinity
· ...that whosoever... - that salvation is open to all who will believe
· ...believeth... - being saved is based on belief or faith, rather than based on human works.
· ...in Him... - the belief being in Jesus, the Saviour
· ...should not perish... - implies the fate of those who do not believe, that is the doctrine of hell
· ...but have everlasting life. - shows the reward of those who believe, that is the doctrine of heaven.

I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.