I am heading out of here in a minute for a bike ride with a swim in the middle of it! It is so much fun to start a day like this. And a glorious day it is, nice and cool. Tonight I have tickets to go see the latest Harry Potter movie with my daughters and one of my son's friends. We will miss my son, because we have gone to each of the movies as a group... but he will be home soon.
So I have a question. How much time to spend helping someone who wants what I have but is not willing to go an inch to get it? A woman I used to sponsor and has since used and drank called a couple of weeks ago in dire straits. She wanted my help. I talked with her and spent some time with her. She has since decided that she doesn't want to go to AA because we cuss and we don't all believe in God (as she understands him). Her church has been kind enough to assign two women to help her out. On good days, she believes these women provide all the help she needs. However, when the s*** hits the fan, she calls me.
Yesterday she left me a message. She is a mess (again). She asked me to please call her back because she really needed to talk to ME. I never got hold of her yesterday. But I wonder if I am really being helpful at all. My ex-husband used to talk about people who wanted to "second-hand" recovery. They don't want to do anything to get it themselves, they want to get MY recovery - by osmosis. It doesn't work. Part of me thinks that I should cut this woman totally loose - and tell her to call the church ladies when she is in trouble. Maybe if she were totally cut off from what AA offers, she would realize she needs it - instead of doing a bit of a cafeteria approach - she'll have some of the fellowship, but none of the responsibility... like jello without the green beans.
I'm just thinking... I haven't got it worked out. If you have thoughts on this, please share them.
"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58