But I have to say that by yesterday afternoon, after working so many hours and being a bit sleep deprived, meal deprived (not hungry mind you, just not having had many regular meals in the last week), quiet time deprived, and meeting deprived... I was just emotional. So for every person who stopped by, e-mailed, or called to thank me or tell me what a great job I had done... I just cried. I tried to be gracious and smile and thank them, but my eyes welled with tears each time. I have a sign in my office which says "Recognize Your Victories." One of my co-workers came by to offer me praise - which I find kind of hard to take in big quantities - and he just pointed to that sign... then I cried again.
A bunch of us finally went out and sat in a restaurant for the afternoon, decompressing. It was good. We got to laugh and tell stories. I got to talk with my boss in a neutral atmosphere, which was very good. We got to act "unprofessional," which is very good for human beings to do on occasion. (I just spelled occasion right on the first try for the first time in my life - woo hoo!!!)
Last night I went to a meeting with my daughter. It was very interesting. I thought the meeting was awful, she thought it was great. Which just shows that what a newcomer wants out of AA and what I want out of AA are two very different things. I thank God that there are meetings where she can get what she needs and I can get what I need.
So today, it is a new day. I have a hair appointment at 7:30 a.m., which is the last thing I want to do this morning. But I make the appointments 2 months in advance, and they are hard to get, so I will gladly go in and get my hair cut and colored. Maybe I will do something wild and go REALLY short? And platinum blonde? Maybe... it COULD happen.
I hope it will get above the 17º it is right now. I hope some snow will melt so that I can assess the damage it did to my tulips, lilacs, and rose bushes. And although I have probably lost all of the buds on the lilac bushes, and the tulips that had already bloomed are now frozen, it still will be spring and I won't be working crazy hours.
I can get back to the good self-care that I usually do. I can get back on an even keel.
And thank God for the ability to do what I do for a living. And thank God for the wonderful people in my life. I really am surrounded by love. (uh oh, I am crying again)...
Let's stay sober another day, OK?