Thursday, August 20, 2009

Changes

Today I got my job application completed. I took down a certificate from the wall, took it out of its frame, photocopied it, attached it to my application, put it back in its frame, put it back on the wall. I photocopied my app, and sent it along to where it needs to go. The rest is out of my hands.

There is a lot that is out of my hands right now.

I walked around today to talk with people, but it was probably not helpful to them or me. People are so upset that any talking about things only escalates the anxiety.

This morning a youngish social worker had an appointment to talk with me about something - work related. We both "processed" about the changes. That was maybe good for us. Not sure.
It is good to know that there is a loving God who has my care in his loving hands. I don't know what he is doing right now, but I have found that it is not necessary for me to know what he is doing. I just need to do what I am supposed to do.

I will go to the Friday Speaker Meeting tomorrow morning at 6:30 and listen to someone else.

16 comments:

Scott W said...

This is your first mention of a job search. I am sure you are on the right track.

Mike Golch said...

Yes as long as we need to do what we are supposed to be doing,he will reviel his plans on his time.

Susan M DeAngelis said...

You're in my prayers -- if you need to talk, I'm a good listener.

Sue

Syd said...

I can feel how tough this is from your words. For me to leave this job that has been so important in over half my life will be difficult; but I plan to do other related work. But to have to leave before I was ready would be truly sad. Whoever you sent the application to will be lucky to get you--the work ethic today is different from what I had. But I also hope that you'll be able to stay where you are and make positive changes there. I believe that you have that effect.

dAAve said...

I was not aware you have lost or might be losing your employment in this round of cuts.
The right things will happen.

Ed G. said...

My hope for you is that you find peace in the process and joy at the destination of this journey...

Blessings and aloha...

MW said...

I have been following your blog,and I have to say your last two posts have really hit home. I work at a hospital which has been unable to meet the budget. For the last year, the hospital has cut many 'perks', and as far as I knew no one lost their jobs.

Sunday I went to a closed discussion meeting, and someone shared with tears in his eyes that in a week the IOP program at the hospital would be closing. I gulped hard. This is the same hospital in which I am employed, and I did not know. Furthermore, this program helped so many people I know in the program. I was in complete disbelief.

Today I attended a meeting in which the topic was budget. My boss essentially said that everything that could be cut has been cut, and unfortunately over the next several weeks some difficult decisions must be made. In other words, some people would be losing their jobs. I again gulped hard wondering which group will I be in: the one that stays or the one that goes.

As I read your post this evening, I could feel the heaviness in your heart. I want to say thank you for sharing with such honesty. You have helped me to see I am not the only one. Ultimately, I am reminded once again that this program is a 'we' program rather than a 'me' program. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Tall Kay said...

You have walked through so much. You continue to face life on life's terms with grace and dignity. You are a wonderful example for all of us to watch as you face these uncertain times with faith.

Findon said...

Take good easy care of yourself mary. Things have a habit of sneaking up on me when I think I'm coping.

Mary LA said...

Good luck job hunting -- the therapy will help with that as well as other issues.

Pam said...

My sweet Mary.
It hurts to think of you being afraid in anyway.

Gin said...

You're doing your part by handling what you CAN control. All will work out.

Lou said...

I would love to say your experience, education, and work ethnic will make someone want to snap you up. But we both know that less experience=less money has to be paid out. That is the new thinking when hiring.

That said, you are a smart woman, and there will always be a place for that.

diane d said...

That's an awesome outlook to have. One I'm struggling to keep a hold of.

Banana Girl said...

MC, So much happens when I have been gone for such a short time. I am touched by your job situation and remember coming through similar times. Hang in there. You do, by the way, sound very serene.
I have been missing your life. Thanks for your honesty and courage. J.

Hope said...

Thinking of you today.