Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Feeling Snarly

I feel a bit cantankerous this morning. There are many things I wish I could say, but I probably won't. I wish I could have left the television set off this morning, but another blogger referenced something, so I found the remote and clicked it on...

Yesterday a troll came by and left an anonymous comment. I don't believe it was from "he who must not be named." But it was a comment thread cut and pasted from another blog. The other blog has been in existence for many years, it is a blog devoted to discrediting the principles of AA. I am not going to name it here because I have found through many years of experience with blogging that if you have a phrase within your blog, your blog will come up for years and years as people search for that... My blog comes up frequently in searches for "hungry angry lonely tired," "rigorous honesty," etc. Things I have written about.

It also comes up when you search "hate AA" because I have written about that several times. But my post entitled "Why do people hate AA?" is one of the most frequent posts that stray readers (not regular bloggers) arrive at from searches. It has become, for me, a repository of thought provoking commentary. People continue to come by and tell me why it is they hate AA. And frankly, I have to consider what they have written. If I am not being defensive or argumentative, I can see that many of these people have valid points. It is sad to me that they have had bad experiences and have seen such crappy examples of AA groups and sober people, but to be honest, I have seen the same things.

I need not to focus on the negative if I am going to remain happily sober, but I do believe that the time may have come for me to acknowledge that they have some valid points. But some of the points only seem valid if you don't have a thorough understanding of what alcoholism is, and what AA really is. There is so much misinformation out there... much of it is kept alive by repetition in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous! And really, could we think for a minute about what we look like when we CHANT things in AA meetings? (Keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it cuz you're worth it? Pu-lease!)

We are strong enough (I hope) that we do not have to stubbornly insist that we know what is best and anyone who criticizes us is stupid, foolish, or drunk!

(OK, I told you I was feeling cantankerous this morning. I don't want to go to work, it has been so unpleasant. I actually told someone yesterday that I HOPE my job gets cut, just so I won't have to go back there... this the place I have LOVED for 15 years. It is SO unpleasant right now.)


11 comments:

Lou said...

Hmm..I don't think it sounds too cantankerous.

Ed G. said...

I hear you...

We may have a new place to discuss this sort of stuff in a few weeks - I'm still in some prayer and seeking some guidance. My inclination this far seems to be not to do it in a public forum out of respect for AA's Traditions and Concepts around public controversy.

You may be more open (willing?) than I in that I would have deleted that comment.

I know what it's like to dread going to a place that was once safe and happy...

I wish you some joy today...

Blessings and aloha...

Tall Kay said...

I love the chants...there should be more. Being still new to blogsville, I don't understand all the lingo yet. This has left with me with a 100 questions...I'll save them for later :0)

Syd said...

It seems that when it rains it pours. Hope that the rest of your day goes well. I have wondered why I hardly ever get a troll comment. I'm happy not to get any.

Dharma Kelleher said...

I've had jobs that I loved that turned into nightmares. It's frustrating. Such are the ups and downs and ups of life, as you know.

dAAve said...

I don't think that's being cantankerous. It seems honest to me.
What's NOT honest (IMHO) is that you'd like to lose your job. This too shall pass.

Susan DeAngelis said...

Hey Mary,

Although I'm distant from meetings, I still have the aa principles running through my veins. I could never hate a program that saved my life.

Thanks for the excellent post.
:)
Sue

Scott W said...

There is all kinds of stuff for all kinds of people that either want to do it the way others have done it or that want to do it their way.

I like the AA way, it is what worked for me.

When I first came in I looked for ways the program wouldn't work for me. I found many. What I didn't (couldn't) realize is is just as easy to look for and find many ways the program can work.

Carol said...

I had to check out your old post, I see what you mean about still attracting new comments. It reminds me of the statement, that which makes you angry owns you.

Hurt people, hurt people. You can apply that to your workplace, too, I guess.

Fun to read the posts from the people I still read. Gospoduli/Kathy Lynn was looking happy and svelte at the meeting yesterday.

Findon said...

Take care of yourself Mary. Im with you on the " keep coming back......" blarney. I just don't get invloved in it now. I avoid the meetings that partake in it and other such things. " Partners can come to meetings, even share. I can say what I like about who I like. If you stop me I might die" No I dont listen to this schmuck any more. Keep doing what you know is right Mary, you have always seemed to have a strong programme as long as I have been reading you.

Pam said...

There is a meeting that I go to occasionally that says "keep coming back it works if you work it and you die if you don't so work it NOW" then in the brief second of silence afterward I always say "stop that crap, you all sound crazy". LOL -they know me and and are not offended.

I'm praying for good things in your day.