I got to drive some beautiful roads yesterday. And then I got to my destination. Sometimes I overestimate how much I have "gotten over" things. This valley is so full of memories - mostly bad. It is full of good memories too, but given enough time, those have a melancholy tinge to them too. Such as the school where my son (whose 33rd birthday is on Saturday) started first grade. It is no longer a school and under renovation. I spent the last 3 years of my drinking in this place. They were not such good years. I spent a bit of my sobriety here too.
I got to have dinner and spend some time last night with someone. And that has opened a whole hornet's nest in my soul.
When I left home on Monday, I deliberately didn't pack any running gear - except for shoes. I don't know why I brought the shoes when I was determined I was NOT going to run. By yesterday, I was seeking a pair of compression shorts and a new Nike + iPod sensor so that I could run today. I did find and purchase both of them. I will head out as soon as it is bright and run up a canyon I have always wanted to run. Perhaps that will put things into perspective for me.
I intend to spend the day at the hot springs and spa. This hotel is nice. I will enjoy today.
9 comments:
However jumbled the feelings, a run always helps.
I wish I was running in a canyon this morning.
I've always been deeply affected by old places: a place in california I drove past with my wife that had terrible terrible memories, the island I grew up on and its deep sadness.
Sometimes I think I actually like the gloominess it brings out in me. Going back, remembering, cherishing a kind of innocense lost, or a passage navigated.
Not sure what I'm saying, but your comments brought back a lot of old memories, so thank you.
Sounds wonderful there. Enjoy your run! You knew you would give in eventually didn't you? :-)
Mary, Mary, quite ... content.
Looks lovely there. And I bet it's cool (temperature-wise).
Travel back in time to old memories will stir up a lot of emotions in me also. I let them flow over me. And then get back to the present. Enjoy your run in the canyon. Watch out for large furry mammals.
I'm working on enjoying today too. Sounds so beautiful there...bad memories and all.
How great that you can be honest about yourself.
I've spent some time in that space recently (past memories washing up to present realities) and I've not found it to be wonderful.
So far, I've been given the grace to find my way back to home...
Blessings and aloha...
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