Christmas Eve

I just went back and looked at my Christmas posts from these last five years that I have been blogging. It is so odd to think that I have been doing this for so long. But it is a nice way to get a quick look back.

We got quite a snow fall with wind and very low temperatures yesterday. The roads are horribly icy. The sun came out this morning and it remains bitterly cold - which makes for a beautiful morning. Bright sunshine on pure white snow - oh, it is beautiful.

I drove through that to the meeting at 6:30 this morning. It was good to be there. It was a good meeting. The person who chaired it (who sometimes reads my blog - hi R.!) actually talked about steps! And putting them into action in your life!

Tonight I will pick up my daughter from her job and she will come and stay with me overnight. Tomorrow we will spend Christmas together in whatever way we want - likely we will go see the new Sherlock Holmes movie because I could stand to look at Robert Downey Jr. for a few hours. She would like to ignore the day as much as she can. It is very painful for her to be so far away from her children. The good news is that she is sober and can experience her first sober Christmas. I never thought I would live to see this day. And I am grateful.

I stopped on the way home from the meeting and bought two steaks, two lobster tails, salad, potatoes, etc., for a casual Christmas dinner for two tomorrow. This is very different from what normally happens here. But it is good.

I know the other bloggers are all happy and cheerful and I am bummer-woman today. I can't help it - I am who I am. I have been surrounded for the last 4 months by people who have lost or are soon to be losing their jobs. I have friends who are in the process of losing relatives to cancer. I see families separated and I remember how much that hurts. I know that holidays can seem to take a magnifying glass to these things and make them seem so much more painful and the holidays can particularly trip up alcoholics.

I seldom give unsolicited advice, but today I will give some, based on years of watching people come in and out of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (I found that I posted this in 2005):

• Go to meetings, you may find someone who really needs what only you have to offer.
• Don't go anywhere you can't leave (be able to walk away or drive away, but don't come with someone else and be dependent upon them being able to leave at the moment you are uncomfortable.)
• If you are at an event where alcohol is being served, have a glass, can, or cup in your hand at all times. That way you will not be offered a drink as often, and you will always know what is in your drink.
• Get "prayed up" before you go anywhere that may be tempting, upsetting, or you may have expectations about.
• Read page 101 of the big book, and really ask yourself the questions posed there, then follow the directions on page 102.

"Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed."
God Bless You. Merry Christmas.