I went to my friend Ron's Memorial "Service" today. It was a meeting at my old homegroup. We went around the room and reminisced about Ron. Most of the folks were relatively new. Most of the folks talked about how Ron cussed. Oh me, oh my. Oh, Ron said the "F" word! He dropped the "F" Bomb! He said all those other words. Some people talked about how they couldn't get past that.
Some people talked about how he was a womanizer. Yep. That was my Ron. The younger women thought he was a cute little old man who was a bit of a "dirty old man." Oh, if they only knew! He was a virile, sexy man not that damn long ago.
Since when did AA become a puritanical society where no one can offend anyone with a four letter word? We all used to sit around smoking, drinking coffee, cussing up a storm, and staying sober, one day at a time. Oh yeah, and we went on twelve step calls, helped each other when we needed a helping hand and we knew where each other lived and what our last names were. Now we are "nice" people who leave directly after the Lord's prayer and have no idea who we are standing next to.
Oh for crying out loud. I don't know how this happened.
Isn't it nice that we are all so nice now. Poor Ron, sober 37 years and people can only talk about his vocabulary. He gratefully rendered prison service for almost all of his sobriety, but only one or two people in that room even knew that. He stayed sober through some of the most atrocious life circumstances I have ever heard of, and was always grateful and always willing to help another alcoholic, but he said the "f" word and I guess that negates every good work.
A few years ago, a nice older woman who is a friend of mine told me that she would never say that word in a meeting again. She said that once it was out of her mouth people stopped listening to her. I have found it to be true as well. It did not used to be like that.
Not that I care to listen to a whole lot of it, but it is disturbing to me that this wonderful man is only remembered for his colorful language when he was fully alive for 70 years and fully sober for 37 of those years. Thirty-Seven years.
God Bless You Ron Rupich. I love you. And I will forever.