I need to be out of here in a half hour, I am trying to get a bowl of oatmeal and a strong cup of coffee down my gullet. I don't function well when I don't get enough sleep, and I certainly did not get enough last night.
My next door neighbors have abandoned their home and left it to their children - who are both in their twenties. The parents are living elsewhere in town, so they drop by occasionally. The daughter is a fine young woman who is about to finish college. The son is a nightmare, and probably a "future fellow." I have lost more sleep because of this kid than all of my three children put together, from infancy onward. The "kids" haven't mowed the lawn once this year, their mother's flower beds are overrun with weeds. The tree in the front yard is now hanging almost to the ground. It looks abandoned.
But for the noise at night. The young man likes to drink and find other folks who welcome the idea of going to someone's parents' house for a "party." When I was 24 I had a child to take care of, and my husband was working every day, we had our own home and responsibilities. When my son was 24, he was already the veteran of a foreign war and seven years into his career. I cannot imagine finding other people to go to a parents' house to whoop it up in the front and back yards. But he finds them.
I was about to call the police at 1 a.m. when I looked out the window to see why the ruckus seemed to have moved to under my bedroom window. I was greeted by the welcomed sight of two young men, their handcuffed hands behind their backs, being led away by the police. My little entitled friend was telling the police they were violating his rights and they would be sorry. Which didn't endear him to the police either. I overheard the police say the complaint came from 2 blocks away and they had no problem finding the source of the noise from 2 blocks away. It took another hour, with five police cars in front of my house, before they drove away. I believe they found drugs in the house.
I know the little man was going to detox, which probably means he will be home later today, but I pray he can get the idea that he needs to quit doing this. It is not my job to diagnose him an alcoholic, but I do hope he gets some help.
I have spent many nights awake, listening to him cuss, fight, brawl, sing, etc.... fantasizing how I would greet him if and when he gets "to the rooms." In the daylight hours, I know I would welcome him with open arms, just like everyone else. But I have had some dark, dark, thoughts in the wee hours of the morning when I should have been sleeping but for the chaos next door.
Which leads me back to what I posted yesterday. It always frightens me a bit when people talk about "s/he might as well be drunk," "If THAT is sobriety, I would rather be drunk," "I want more than just being DRY." If you are an alcoholic of the type that I am, and most of the people I am close to are, being DRY is infinitely better than being drunk. No one ever led me out of my house with handcuffs behind my back for lacking "emotional sobriety."
Granted, I do want to grow - every single day. I strive for emotional sobriety, and I think most of the time I have it today. But I didn't start out that way, most of us don't.
I will always thank God that I am sober - no matter what that looks like. Because no matter what, it doesn't look or feel like being drunk.
God, have mercy on my little friend next door. Please find him the help he needs and soften his heart so that he might accept it. Thank you.