My son moved out yesterday. He found a really nice apartment only 2 miles away. As he was leaving, I started crying! I wanted to just throw myself on the floor and wail. It was the oddest feeling to have such an intense emotional reaction, and rationally know that it is wacked! This young man left home at 17 - to go into the Army. It is not like I am used to having him around. But in the last 6 weeks or so it has been so nice to share my home with him. And I think I am emotionally fatigued from a year of trying so hard not to go mental over him being at war.
I go back to work this morning after 4 days off. My Tuesday night sponsee is sick and canceled her time to come over tonight. Tomorrow I am meeting with a new sponsee, I am looking forward to that.
I hope to get rid of the headache I woke up with, and have a fabulous sober Tuesday. I hope you all do too!
"We discover that we do receive guidance for our lives to just about the extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order and on our terms." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 104
7 comments:
do hope your Tuesday is fabulous!
Nothing wrong with having feelings. In fact, it seems pretty damn normal.
Of course you did! I don't think it was a wacked reaction at all. Of course, I'm pretty wacked but whatever:) I spent 5 minutes looking for my cellphone last night while I was talking on it. Who said you need alcohol to be fucked up?
It's the empty space feeling. It gets me too. I don't like to see people leave. I guess it is changes that affect me with sadness.
You made it through that year, you can probably make it through anything now.
I just discovered your blog. I am also a friend of Bill W. I am just beginning to discover the community of AA's in the blogosphere. In fact, I just created my own recovery blog. I look forward to reading more of your blog and I will certainly "keep coming back."
what a roller coaster you've been on this year..emotions.
Hope you are resting up for the run.
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