Wednesday, October 31, 2007

My Deepest Fear

My deepest fear is that I would ever pick up another drink and resume the existence of living death. This may sound like hyperbole to one who has recently had a drink. But to one who was saved from an alcoholic existence, and brought into a real life, and has gotten to live a couple of decades this way - that old "life" is the worst thing I can think of.

I am grateful today:
  • For modern antibiotics that kicked the crap out of the bronchitis I had
  • For sleeping until the phone rang at 6:30 this morning!
  • For a job where I don't have to set my alarm
  • For snow on the ground this morning
  • For the ability to "dress up" for Halloween at work today (I'm going as a runner.)
  • That my children and grandchildren are coming over tonight
  • That I am getting ready for an AA event here on Saturday night - woo hoo!
  • That I have a nice comfortable home and it isn't too much work to get it in shape for "company"
  • For Living a Sober Life for these Last 23 years, 3 months, and 8 days! Thank You God!
Have a Happy Halloween Everyone.

"As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151

8 comments:

kel said...

I am glad to hear you are feeling better, and what a wonderful, upbeat, happy post! Thanks for sharing who you are.

~kel

Pam said...

WOW do you ever sound like your old self...little pickle relish.
A runner?? you're going to be the most comfortable one in the building today. But don't really run...OK? Because you might start coughing and all that mess.

Scott W said...

Hope you are also taking Mucinex to break up all that phlegm.

Denizens = inhabitant, dweller

dAAve said...

You sound much, much better. This is a good thing. Going as a runner -- how creative you are!!

I think I will show up as a recovering alcoholic today. hmmmmmmmm

johno said...

thats where my old photo went! omg happy halloween, take care

Syd said...

Glad that you are up and about. And that you aren't a ghoul today.

MICKY said...

Why do people HATE AA?
26 Sep 2007 by Mary Christine
About AA being a cult. If you think AA is a cult, don't join. I don't know why the urgency to tell people who are happily sober in AA how they are being killed by Bill Wilson. Note: Bill Wilson has been dead since 1971, I don't think he ...

Dear Mary Christine
Were you sexually abused as a child?

Christine said...

so many blessings!

Hope your energy comes back soon now that you are feeling better