Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Morning

This is a picture of my volunteer geranium. I noticed there were tiny leaves in this unused pot earlier in the year, so I started watering them. The tiny leaves turned into a tiny geranium. That small pink bloom is the only flower for the season. I think I will take this one indoors for the winter and let it grow. It had such determination to live - and somehow I can relate to this.

After work today, my daughter and I will go to the race expo and pick up our race packets. As of yesterday afternoon, I thought for sure I would be able to participate in the race... right now I am not so sure - my foot doesn't feel so great this morning. But when you pay $75. for a race, you at least want to go pick up the goodies they give you. I pray I will still be able to run or at least walk by Sunday morning.

Non-race-runners will say to me "Don't worry, you can always do another race." They have no idea what goes into training for a half-marathon or a marathon. The amount of time I have spent running is nearly obscene - when you consider that I have a family I haven't spent much time with, a job I should probably spend more time doing, AA meetings I have missed, AA sponsees who have to deal with me and my palm pilot when trying to figure out when we are going to meet. As of this moment, I don't want to do the training again. It takes too much out of a person and away from the rest of my life.

Last night I talked on the phone (while I iced my foot, and watched the Rockies game - with the sound muted) with my friend Larry for maybe a couple of hours. He told me about his late wife. We both cried. He told me about the last 30 years that he has been in AA and what that has been like. I told him about my 23 year years in AA. For some reason, we both cried. It is gratitude and also sadness. Yes, sadness.

If you are new in AA, please enjoy this time. I know that sounds like heresy... we in AA focus so much on getting LONG TERM sobriety. But really, the longer you stay sober, the older you get! I remember so fondly the early years - I was totally insane, but everything was new and I had so many friends in the same boat. It was a grand time - the best of times, the worst of times. I see so many newer people waiting for some magic number - "X" number of years - and THEN it will be good.

It is good RIGHT NOW if you are sober. Please enjoy this moment. They really are numbered. We only get so many. Don't wait for life - it is now!

"...his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 99-100


Scott W said...

How I would have loved to have heard those stories shared by you and Larry. Tears and all. I am perplexed as you don't seem to me to be a sad person at all.

From what I have observed I will have to concentrate on keeping in strong spiritual shape to make it to and through long term sobriety.

dAAve said...

Thanks for the poingant reminders. Bothe about running and living in the now.

Or is that running in the now and living?

Syd said...

I can understand the amount of training that you have done. I guess that I'm a believer in the adage that things happen for a reason. And yes as the years go past, I see life in a different perspective. I've wasted a lot of time waiting for things to happen. Now I just enjoy the day that I'm in and nothing has to happen.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Mary Christine. It IS all about the now. Thanks.


603 days sober.

Kathy Lynne said...

Thanks for the great message. Sometimes I feel like I'm being scoffed at when I'm told my joy in sobriety is my "pink cloud".

I hope Sunday turns out well for you.

Sam said...

You inspire me.