Last night my long-time sponsee came over and we measured the area that I want to replace crappy carpet with hardwood floors. We then went to a store where I found a particularly good deal on bamboo flooring. I purchased these boxes of floor and we (well, mostly her and very little me) loaded them into her truck, drove them here, and then loaded them in my basement. Where they will sit for 3 weeks or a month until she can tear out my carpeting and install this beautiful flooring! And while at the store, we had a hot dog, and after we loaded all the stuff in and out, we went out for dessert! And soon I will be able to complain about having my house all torn up. We are doing the living room, dining room, stairs, kitchen, and hallway. I am sure it will be an issue for me because I so cherish my home as my refuge. But what a wonderful thing to have happen! I have wanted to replace this crappy carpet since I moved into this house 7 and a half years ago.
I also cherish this relationship with this woman. We are so different and yet we are so alike. Our relationship has changed so much over the years. Last night we were both complaining about other women we sponsor. It is awfully nice to have someone to talk about these things with. I can talk to my sponsor about it, and she can talk to me. My sponsee can talk to me about it and I can talk to her. I would never talk about these things outside of the precious bonds of the sponsorship relationship. But within the sponsorship relationship? we can talk about these things. Thank God.
To be part of the chain of this miracle of recovery is such an honor. And a responsibility.
Do you have a sponsor? Do you sponsor anyone? Have you worked the steps? Have you helped someone else go through the steps? These are the things that show we are members of AA and not merely spectators.
11 comments:
Oh good! You can complain daily of your mess right along with Pammy and her kitchen mess. How fun!
To find someone capable of laying the floor and willing...is fantastic! Yahoo for you.
Occasionally you hear of someone sponsoring another when they have not worked the steps themselves. I think you can imagine how crazy this makes me. If one can stay sober without working the steps then perhaps they are not beyond human aid. If they are not beyond human aid then they may not be an alcoholic at all. If they are not an alcoholic who needs the steps to experience a psychic change in order to be relieved of their obsession for alcohol, then what are they doing in our meetings?
Now THAT is what I am talking about Ms. Pammie!
What Pam says is true. What I have to remember is that alcoholics do not always have clear thinking, heck, some seem to not have any thinking AT ALL.
Wanna know what really bugs me, when someone has a sponsor that does not school them on AA courtesies. You know, those unspoken rules about how to act in meetings, not get into relationships with newcomers, put a dollar in the basket (or 2!) or talk about something that has nothing to do with a meeting of AA. Oh, and how about always having to be first to share or last. Crazy making I tell ya. There are others, maybe one day I will be able to sit there and just realize God is in charge of the meeting. Patience, Scott.
I soooooooo agree with Pam.
I also tell my sponsor things that I don't talk about with anyone else. Gossip type things. (hehe)
And he tells me things too. We both know that we can trust each other.
hardwood floors are pretty we had ours done 4yrs ago and then added in the other dinning room and my office.. I LOVE it. It was worth our house being in a disaray
Oh and how true member vs spectator...
I also like what you shared about your relationship with your long time sponsee
I think, it is good to have a relationship with your sponsee like that. Kinda but not really, but kinda like a healthy adult/ child parent relationship.
I am grateful to be at that point with my sponsor.... have yet to reach that with any sponsees
it will come in time and growing
happy friday
Yes, the last paragraph was excellent.
Mary, to answer your questions, and also, to respond to Pam's comments:
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yessssss!"
bamboo flooring is some solid wood - very hard wood - good choice - Congrats!!!
Well.... I have 3 sponsers! Now before you get your panties all in a bunch:)....My first sponser who brought me through the steps in this last year..who I did my fifth step will always be my sponser in my eyes...but perhaps now she is more of a trusted beloved friend...I learned when I accepted the task of sponsering 2 women that I was not ready to do so..I felt like I didn't have an deep enough understanding of the steps leading me to believe that perhaps I hadn't been as honest and thorough as I needed to be. Of course I did the best of my ability at 8 months sober...and it has kept me sober..but I felt directed to do more. So with the blessing of my first sponser I'm now doing a Big Book Step Study with a new sponser for that purpose. Our relationshop is growing...and the third sponser is really more of a spiritual advisor...I asked her to be my sponser..she said yes..but I haven't really used her for step work...but God work..sometimes a girl's just got to be reminded that God is either everything or nothing. Anyway..I'm special, don't ya know. So I'm working the steps again..and I've directed those women who I originally agreed to sponser to other sponsers..but I continue to work with them on Step 1. Actually, I do alot of Step 1 work with newcomers...and then tell them to get a sponser.
A spectator I ain't...too much information? You asked!
Yes to all of those from the Al-Anon perspective.
I think that you'll really like wood floors. I have them everywhere in the house.
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