One day at a time.
I have new pants to wear to work today.
I have new shoes.
I call them "scared flat."
On Friday, I spoke with person in Dallas who has the same job as I do in a hospital there. She told me about their recent experience with something that we are going to experience soon. When she told me about the person from the regulatory agency running through the halls, and expecting others to follow, the first thing I thought of was my shoes. There is no way on God's Green Earth that I can run around a hospital with 3 or 4 inch heels on.
This is an exercise in ego deflation. I hate wearing flat shoes. I think they look dumpy and plain and old-ladyish. But running in 4 inch heels sounds infinitely worse.
Which reminds me of an e-mail I got this morning. It could be a generic e-mail. I get one about once a month or 2 weeks. I will paraphrase:
I love your blog.
You give me hope.
I can't stop drinking.
I can't go to AA because then people will know that I have a problem.
It reminds me of my friend who recently died. He was a public figure who didn't want to be sitting with common drunks in a meeting of AA. Instead his face and name were pictured on the TV news, newspapers, and internet. "found dead. struggled for years with alcoholism and personal problems." Yeah, it would have been too embarrassing if he had come to AA and sat with a bunch of people who understand.
So, I can thank God that I can sit in my chair in a meeting of AA and be grateful for it.
I can be grateful for whoever else has found a way to sit in their chair there.
And I will learn to be grateful for flat shoes.
We must adjust to what our reality is.