Saturday, April 24, 2010

Commitments, Disappointment, and Letting Go

Look at all those lilac buds on my little lilac bush! For the last two years they have gotten frozen and killed before they ever turned to real flowers. I hope that this year they will be able to bloom and be beautiful and turn my little garden into an olfactory delight.

It has been a weekend of strange disappointments for me. First there was the census job. I am truly disappointed about that. One one hand there is disappointment- and on the other hand there is rejoicing - because I was wondering where I was going to get the energy for two jobs! I truly wanted the money though.

A friend had called several weeks ago to tell me that a very dear friend was celebrating his 27th birthday at a particular meeting on Friday night - last night. It has been on my calendar, and I was greatly looking forward to it. When I got there, I thought it was odd that I barely knew anyone there. My friend was nowhere in sight. I looked at the birthday cake - it said "Happy 15th Birthday Soyna" (misspelled Sonya). I am sorry, but I have never seen anyone be so ungracious about a birthday - not for one year, not for ninety days, not for anything. But especially not for 15 years. God Bless Soyna. I talked briefly with a friend after the meeting - I knew her from work before I knew she was an AA member - she said Soyna has come a long way. That's why it is nice to know a person - you know things like that. I, however, don't. And her calling the meeting format "shit" did not impress me much. Oh well.

My dear friend, who took me to my first meeting, is celebrating his birthday NEXT week. The fellow who told me he was celebrating it THIS week apparently knew that, because he wasn't there.

So, I didn't get to sleep until after 10 o'clock and had to get up at 4 a.m. to meet my running club. I managed to get up and drive the 20 miles to the appointed meeting place. And luckily there were some other unfortunate souls there who had just gotten the information that the run was canceled, so they were able to pass that information on to me.

I really had to scratch my head and wonder about why I spend so much effort honoring commitments. It seems to be not the norm. It is my norm. But not THE norm. Mores the pity.

The way I saw it, at 6 a.m. this morning - I had two choices: 1. be mad all day, or 2. make the best of the new several hours of free time. I headed to the 6:30 meeting I haven't been able to attend since I joined this club. There were a couple of people who were happy to see me.

There are frustrations in life. It is up to me whether I am going to let them ruin a day, a week, a month, or my life. I think I am not going to. I am still going to honor my commitments, because that is the right thing to do - in my book - and I don't care if it is in anybody else's book or not. And when I get disappointed by others, I will just move along and make the best of what I have available to me.

Today I got to a meeting I hadn't expected to go to. I got to take a THREE HOUR NAP that was heaven! I went to the grocery store and purchased the ingredients for Chicken Corn Chowder and brought it home and made it - and it was good. My grandchildren dropped by for a quick visit. And then, totally unplanned by me, the spirit moved me to go outside in the early evening, with my gardening gloves, a big garbage bin, and a long metal pronged instrument with which to pull weeds! I spontaneously pulled weeds! It was miraculous. And when I came inside I got to eat a bowl of fabulous Chicken Corn Chowder - oh yum.

I would say my first day of vacation was a success!

9 comments:

Hope said...

I appreciate how you write about honouring your commitments. I often think of you when I least feel like honouring my commitments and it has helped me to do the right thing. Funny how that ripple effect works.

Syd said...

I'm glad that you are on vacation and getting some rest. It's disappointing when people don't honor their committments. But I have few expectations that they will. I am pleased when people are committed. I have the choice to keep my word and to do what I say.

dAAve said...

Sometimes, life would be so much easier if I didn't have to deal with humans. But then, maybe they say the same thing about me.

Enjoy today (Sunday) as much as you possibly can.

Scott said...

It's good to be able to begin again during the day...


My wife never got the call for the census job either, she was disappointed.

I didn't honour committments when I was out there using. I do now, because it's the right thing to do.

Andrew said...

Yes, it sounds to me like the day was successful.

Mia M. said...

you took a day of disappointments and turned it around. it's a good reminder to me on how to work my steps. and it's also a good reminder to me on keeping my mind open at all times to God's plan for each of my moments. thank you.

Ed G. said...

Sorry for your disappointments but glad some things seem to have worked out. I don't know how some people have the lives they do - they wonder the same about me.

I guess we're all wonders to each other (except you and me who are the only normal ones, right?...).

Blessings and aloha...

marie said...

I appreciate how honestly you share your struggles. I recently went to a topic meeting on the promises where everyone shared how great their life was going. I felt like a didn't belong. Although it did give me hope, somehow when people share their struggles, too, I am given comfort along with that hope. I get that from your post. Thanks again!

Willa said...

This is wonderful to read, Mary! Have a great vacation!