I've had three days off work now. I feel like a battery that is running down. I called my boss this afternoon and asked him if he would mind if I come back tomorrow - knowing full well that he wouldn't mind - but it seemed better than just showing up. I went to a meeting this morning and then mass. I finished the book that I purchased to read this week - it was quite good (The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri), but I would have four days with nothing to read if I were to continue this "vacation." Anna Karenina is sitting on my sofa, wishing to be reread after 20 years. I don't know if I am up for Russians any more. It takes so much energy to read them.
This afternoon I went and got a manicure and pedicure, got my eyebrows waxed, and spent 12 minutes in a tanning bed. That might sound like a good day to some, but frankly, it sounds like a big waste of time to me.
I want to go back to work. I looked at my daytimer today - all the notes from last week. All the lists of things to do each day. I want my life to be like that. I don't want to leisurely drive to the nail salon and waste a few hours in the middle of the day.
I know many happily retired people, and I am sure that when it is my time to retire, I will be one of them. But today, I am not ready to be one of them. I did not start my career in earnest until I was ten years sober, at the age of 42. So, I have only been at this for a little over 15 years. Call me a case of arrested development, but I feel like I am just at the middle of my career - I know that is not really the truth because I only have six or seven years left. But I intend to work my ass off for those six or seven years. Happily.
So, now I shall go sit down with the knitting I have photographed above. Another baby blanket, for a little girl already born... And I will watch American Idol for an hour and then go to bed. I hope my little man from my very own high school will survive. I will set my alarm for tomorrow morning so that I won't be late for work tomorrow. I have to stop doing that.
Just before I started writing this I tried to call my daughter - she texted back - "will have to call u n a few, im 12 stepping a speed freak" A minute later she texted "But for the grace of God there go I... God bless this bouncy chick." That is music to a sober mother's ears.
God Bless us All. Every One of Us.
9 comments:
I also have to stay busy - I think it is my curse of ADD - LOL!!! Congrats on the blessing of a daughter that is working the program! Love your posts!
"God bless this bouncy chick."
Maybe she was referring to you.
Your daughter is doing good things, just as you do. That is an awesome thing.
Sounds like a beautiful life reflection in a day!
I have no trouble doing nothing on my vacations. I get bored, sure, but I don't mind boredom. Not when it isn't procrastination.
I thank God every day that I have a purpose and a direction and am given the grace to follow it.
There are other days that all I can do is learn.
I'm proud of you and your daughter.
Blessings and aloha...
Whether it's specifically about work or not, I think it's important that we have a plan for what we're doing and a sense of purpose. It makes everything a lot more worthwhile. Thanks for the reminder.
Hi! Lovely baby blanket! I'm working on a shrug, right now.
I'm taking a poll and would be interested in your feedback: Is internet addiction real?
http://stark-raving-sober.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-internet-addiction-real.html
I hope you can stop by - I think you might like the site. If you do, I'd be happy to add you to my blogroll.
Have a great day!
So-and-so
Oh that was an amazing text(s) from your daughter, what an awesome young lady (just like her mom). And I love your baby blanket - I am trying to improve my knitting skills. I truly love the pattern you chose - lucky little baby girl!!
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