I went to a meeting this morning and then mass. I finished the book that I purchased to read this week - it was quite good (The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri), but I would have four days with nothing to read if I were to continue this "vacation." Anna Karenina is sitting on my sofa, wishing to be reread after 20 years. I don't know if I am up for Russians any more. It takes so much energy to read them.
This afternoon I went and got a manicure and pedicure, got my eyebrows waxed, and spent 12 minutes in a tanning bed. That might sound like a good day to some, but frankly, it sounds like a big waste of time to me.
I want to go back to work. I looked at my daytimer today - all the notes from last week. All the lists of things to do each day. I want my life to be like that. I don't want to leisurely drive to the nail salon and waste a few hours in the middle of the day.
I know many happily retired people, and I am sure that when it is my time to retire, I will be one of them. But today, I am not ready to be one of them. I did not start my career in earnest until I was ten years sober, at the age of 42. So, I have only been at this for a little over 15 years. Call me a case of arrested development, but I feel like I am just at the middle of my career - I know that is not really the truth because I only have six or seven years left. But I intend to work my ass off for those six or seven years. Happily.
So, now I shall go sit down with the knitting I have photographed above. Another baby blanket, for a little girl already born... And I will watch American Idol for an hour and then go to bed. I hope my little man from my very own high school will survive. I will set my alarm for tomorrow morning so that I won't be late for work tomorrow. I have to stop doing that.
Just before I started writing this I tried to call my daughter - she texted back - "will have to call u n a few, im 12 stepping a speed freak" A minute later she texted "But for the grace of God there go I... God bless this bouncy chick." That is music to a sober mother's ears.
God Bless us All. Every One of Us.