(The above photo is of the back of the "main building" of my alma mater - it was the main building in the 1800s, it is hardly the main building now, but it is still known as such)If the last two days have been a taste of life as a retiree. I can wait. A long time. After two days off of work I want to go back. I need the structure. I need a place to go every morning. With people who expect me to be there. As much as that feels like pressure a lot of the time, I need it.
I don't mind days off when I have tons of vacation type stuff to do. Tons of money with which to do it. Places to go, people to see, etc. I was tempted to hop on the train today and go to one of my favorite hot springs resorts, but honestly, I have a multitude of plans for the summer and I see no need to spend a couple hundred dollars just to kill a day right now.
So, today I headed out to church first thing. Then I went to an AA meeting at 10 a.m. It was a good meeting. It was nice to be greeted warmly by some folks I hadn't seen for a long time. A few of the ladies and I stood around after the meeting and talked. It felt like the kind of fellowship that I am sorely missing in my life lately. We talked about real AA stuff. They asked me to come to another meeting they thought I would really like and they would like to see me there. It was very nice. Very nice.
And then I came home. I am loosing speed. I started out strong, but I feel myself just winding down... to nothing.
I think I am going to call my boss tomorrow and ask him if he minds if I cut my vacation short and come back to work on Thursday. I think this is a waste of vacation time. I have so much stuff planned for this summer when I will really need the time, I think I ought not use it now, particularly if I am not even enjoying it.
Grateful to be sober today. Grateful to attend a ten o'clock meeting. I went to many, many of those in my early sobriety. Those used to be the earliest in the morning meetings. The old retired guys used to be there. Now there are a new batch of old retired guys. I know they are very helpful to the new people who really long to hear that experience, strength, and hope.
Good night, xoxox
6 comments:
I will let you know how I like it when the official date occurs on May 31. Until then, I'm still going to work. I look at it this way--I am not giving up my profession, just my career at this particular place where I have worked for 31 years. That's a long time. I wasn't ready to retire really until the last couple of years when it became obvious to me that I was spending more time administrating than being a scientist. I like science and not the other stuff that seems to come with advancement. Thirty one years is over half my life. It has been a long run. And I'm glad to be moving on at a young enough age where I can still do many things that I enjoy. Life is good.
I'm like you, I like being busy, and I'm grateful for my busy job to go to. I really like your courage to admit defeat and ask your boss if you can come back early. It's okay to change your mind, that's what I got from your post. Thanks.
Oh, and Syd...my dad, who retired from the Marine Corp then started his own business said the second career has been his best. I'm excited for you.
I made the "retirement" adjustment quite seamlessly. Especially once I stopped drinking.
You can do it. I know you can. When the time is right.
:) Have an awesome day! :)
Easy for me to say, since I'm still working, but I like the idea of just going on to something else, instead of retirement, even if that something else is however I define a productive life for myself.
I am absolutely the wrong person to offer any advice or even experience when it comes to work or leisure. It has been the center of my malady since I stopped drinking.
I just hope that you find a place of happy usefulness throughout your life - working and not.
Blessings and aloha...
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