Last night I just had not one thing to say. Oh, I could have complained about work. Or I could have told you how grateful I was for a good hairdresser and a lovely hair color and new cut. I could have written about American Idol because I love that show for some unfathomable reason. I could have written about a bunch of other things if people I know didn't read my blog.
This morning I was tempted to write about the fact that we in AA are living in the process or the hope of a spiritual experience - and then we try to quantify that. Believe me, no one likes to quantify things more than I, but this is something that cannot be reduced to formulas, recipes, or equations. But that is what most of us do. And every single time I write about this, which I have done more than once, it is misunderstood and then I wonder why I bother. Like a great AA speaker I heard once said "God created man in his image, and then we, unfortunately, returned the favor."
So, suffice it to say that it is a long dark January. My workplace is difficult. I am having some difficulty with a sponsee that puts me in a position where I am going to have to make a decision about the future of our relationship that I would rather not make.
I will now get on the treadmill and then "suit up and show up" for work. Hopefully today I will not have to retreat to my office to close the door and cry as I did yesterday. And to think that we all thought it would get better after the first of the year!
I have a deep and abiding faith that God has me just where I need to be and that I just need to have faith in that.