Thursday, January 28, 2010

Night Blogging

You know, I just don't really like blogging at night. Sometimes when I have something I really really want to write about, I want to write at night when I have more time. But for the most part, I don't have any energy at night and it is a challenge to think of something to write about.

I most frequently think of things to snipe at, which I really don't want to do. Or I want to write about my day - which I think is just too boring.

So, instead of sniping, I will write about my day...

Today I said goodbye to (another) one of my colleagues. Years ago I hated her. I had to write inventory about her. I had to pray for her. I made her favorite cookies and wrapped them with a bow and brought them to her. I hand knit a blanket for her baby when she was pregnant. God never fails when we really put forth the effort, that resentment melted away and I came to love her.

Two weeks ago when she came into my office, closed the door, and told me she was leaving, tears spontaneously sprang to my eyes. And today I cried when I saw her office in disarray - her diplomas and awards and fancy schmancy this and that all off the wall and packed away now. One of the things packed away was a photo of her daughter wrapped in the blanket I knit. Her daughter is now in school, but then she was a baby. This photo has been in a place of prominence in her office for years.

Tomorrow my workplace will be a different place without her. It will be a much emptier place without her. I will miss her.

I am so grateful that God is able to change my puny little heart. I would have preferred to stay in hatred, but it was just too unpleasant. I knew that it would hurt ME, not her. So, I knew I had to take a few simple steps and pray that God would change my heart. And he did not let me down that time - or any other.

Without that, I would have missed the sadness today, but I would have missed years of a wonderful friend and colleague - I would have missed out terribly.

12 comments:

Patty said...

This was a great post Mary, thanks.

Mike Golch said...

moving from hatred to a good relationship is a grand thing.I'm sorry that your friend chose to leave the workplace.treasure in your heart that you had a good time with your co-worker.

Kim A. said...

I am crocheting a baby blanket for my newest birth-grandson. I am crocheting love into it as well. I have never met his dad f2f so this blanket will keep him wrapped up with my love until his daddy is ready. Your knitting has encouraged me to keep trying.

Namaste

Pam said...

ouch, you are having to say goodbye to an awful lot of people these days sugar.

dAAve said...

I understand.
Recovery has removed those feelings from my life. I think it has something to do with the steps, eh?

Syd said...

I'm glad that you came to love her. It is much better than hating someone. I'm sorry that she is gone from work. I miss many of my colleagues who have left due to either taking other jobs or retiring. When one works for many years with others, there is a special connection.

Scott W said...

Sometimes it takes time, and that is a good thing.

Lou said...

I've worked with the same people for 25 years. There have been babies, divorces, deaths, weddings, everything that life entails in 25 years. I love these people. We hug each other or give each other space, whatever is needed, often without even speaking. Their lives are woven (knitted?)into mine.

Do you have pictures? I have memories from Christmas parties, baby showers, etc in pictures. I can see our youthful enthusiasm when we started out, fresh out of school 25 years ago.

It is hard. We cry when someone leaves. The baby blanket is a tangible reminder that we are all connected.

She answers to Layla said...

thank you.
thank you.
thank you.

Ed G. said...

What a great display of what the program and willingness can do. You might have been encouraged to "look out for yourself" or some other such pablum and it would have been a very different story. I'm glad you found a real solution to a real problem.
...and, I'm sorry for your loss...
Blessings and aloha...

Anonymous said...

Your post reminded me when my mom was married to an awful man. Me, my brother and sister hated him. This was my first experience with really hating someone. It was a terrible feeling, very draining. Now that I think about it her drinking started with him. He's been gone a very long time but unfortunately the drinking stuck around.

Adrian

Carverlane said...

There have been people I have met "in the rooms" that I have instantly disliked who are now great buddies. Go figure. I'm still kind of new at this!

Kim from sAn Antonio