After driving 600 miles, I turned around and started heading home. I stopped and called my sister -- her flight was canceled out of New York, so she wasn't able to get there either. It seems we were not meant to be at that funeral.
We spent a fair amount of time on the phone yesterday talking about my father's death - seventeen years ago. This is something that was so divisive in my family that we really don't talk about it. We talked and talked and talked and cried. And I have to think that is good. Sometimes ancient history rears its head and I am glad we can talk about it.
I am glad I am not going to the funeral of the woman who caused so much trouble in my family. I learned to love her. I learned to not have resentment and hatred. I had to do these things if I were to be sober and live in peace. But you know what? I don't have to risk my life to attend her funeral and I am not going to. I will keep her in my prayers. And I will hope that she is in peace. Sincerely. But I do not need to be there.
Thank God I can go home.
I am actually looking forward to the rest of the drive. No matter how long it takes. I think the wind has actually died down. I have been driving through gusts of up to 50 mph for the last 2 days. I am feeling kind of battered and tired. But I have great peace as I head home.... home.... home... I am gratefully heading home.