Friday, January 01, 2010

Dawning of a New Decade

The contrarian in me wants to say that the new decade doesn't start until next year, but I really don't care when it starts, 2010 seems so much more sensible than 2011, and everyone else counts it this way, so I will too!

I am grateful to be starting a new decade. My third in sobriety. I entered the 90s at 5 years of sobriety - and they started out rather chaotic, and settled into happy, but maybe grim determination to clean up the wreckage of the past. I had massive debt - to child support, to social security, to regular old debtors. I paid them all. I went back to college. I started a job. Etc. You have all heard this story.

By the dawning of the 00s (how goony does that sound, what are we going to call this decade???) I was sober 15 years, was just about to get my bachelors degree, owned my first home, my daughter was pregnant with her first child, and life was good. It seemed that life held unlimited promise for me. I honestly felt that the sky was the limit. I thought I was limited only by my self-limiting thoughts and my willingness to work.

HA!

In this decade I have been humbled by world events that have impacted my financial situation which have impacted my plans for retirement. Plans! HA! Again! HA! I have been humbled by a body that seems to understand that it is aging even if my emotions do not. I have been humbled by my own career limitations. And I am clear they are innately my own. And as much as I am loathe to write about this, I have been humbled by a couple of disastrous romantic relationships that seemed to be of the "happily ever after" variety. (but instead turned into the "I will have to call the police if you don't leave here because you are frightening me" variety.)

The good news is - I think I may finally be "right sized" which is a major feat for an alcoholic. Most days are extremely peaceful for me. I have friends and family who I love and who love me back. I have no enemies. I came close to having a resentment in the last couple of weeks, but avoided it - I have no resentments.

So last night I got to run a 5K - which is a fabulous way to spend New Years Eve. Running around Washington Park with that humongous Blue Moon hanging in the sky was utterly fabulous. I was with friends who are actually good runners, so it was a trifle embarrassing to have them waiting at the finish line for so long for me in the cold. It was COLD. And ICY. And dinner afterwards was great. A great huge bison burger with chili pepper onion strings and horseradish sauce... yummmm.

I need to be in church in a few minutes, so I better get out of these jammies and out of here!

Happy New Year Everyone.

May it be filled with 365 amazing sober days for all of us.

Thank you so much for sharing this journey with me. XXXOOO, MC

13 comments:

mommaof3 said...

Happy New Year! How fun to spend the evening running a 5k! Terrific idea!

I commit to another full year of sobriety...my second!

I am thanking the Lord for my good time at a party last night, gonna go blog about it now.

www.offhersauce.blogspot.com

I am grateful for folks like you, showing me this CAN be done, with dignity, peace and joy. Thank you!

Kim A. said...

The fact that you ran a marathon just puts me in awe. I'm 47 and my health habits are at the top of my list this year. You give me hope.

Namaste

Lou said...

I like hearing your story, like your comments, and like that you stick to your beliefs.

Happy running in 2010.

Pam said...

Mary Mary--HI
I think I am caught up with you now. So glad I wasn't present to comment on the 3 yr. old in the meeting (hee hee).
So sad about the hospital!
I'm glad my underware isn't on the news.

Willa said...

Happy New Year, Mary!

Syd said...

A very happy year ito you also. It sounds like a great way to spend your day, doing what you love. Thanks for sharing the year here. I appreciate your comments and message.

Hap Joy Free said...

Happy 2010,Mary Christine.....

Wishing you and your family a brave, fun and loving recovering year ahead.

Here is my new blog, hope you will continue to visit!

http://hapjoyfree.blogspot.com/

Christina

Mike Golch said...

May you have a happy and Blessed Sober New Year.Mike G. said that.

dAAve said...

Good for you!

Enchanted Oak said...

I loved that you have learned to be "right-sized." That's one of my all-time favorite lines. We no longer think ill of ourselves and are aware of our blessings and abilities without taking credit for a job well done. That's what it means to me. You've done well in your decades of sobriety, and you're touching many lives with your message of hope. Happy New Year!
Chris A

Scott W said...

O.M.G. That burger sounds divine!

OWH said...

Happy new year MC> So glad you are in my life and starting a new decade together. J.

Ed G. said...

Happy new year and new dawning. I get (from the past few decades) that I have no clue what is coming so I have no "plans" for now.

...perhaps only to pay more attention to the maintenance of a spiritual program of action...

Blessings and aloha...