Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm Movin' On

I finished up and left my job today.  One of my last tasks was to change my outgoing voice message to something that says I don't work there anymore.  It kind of took my breathe away to say that.  But I did manage to walk out the door without a tear.  As I drove away, I did cry.

That place was very very good to me.  I started there, just 10 years sober, 3 weeks before my divorce.  I had a 17 year old son in the Army and twin 15 year old daughters.  On my first day, I was supposed to be in court with my alcoholic daughter.  I did not show up.  I never missed any work to participate in her drama.  Only one time did I leave work early after she called me desperately asking for my help.  This was never part of her game, so I responded and found her at the parents of one of her friends - she was covered in the sores that tweakers get and absolutely out of her mind.  She had been in California and came home with the numbers "5150" tattooed across her abdomen.  And I mean ACROSS her abdomen.

I can't catalog all of the things that happened to me in my career there.  But I know I arrived there on a September morning in 1994, more grateful than words can say for a job as an Administrative Assistant.  I was 42 years old.  I started school at 43, and had my master's degree at 50.  I got many promotions for my first seven years, and then have been in the same job for the last ten.

So, now I will go somewhere where no one ever saw me as an Administrative Assistant.  They only know that I come to them with an extremely good pedigree for the job.  And I can remind myself that I was hand-picked for this job.  This is so far from where I came from, it is unbelievable.

I was copied on an e-mail today from my new boss.  It was introducing me to the divisions I will be working with.  It was so nice and gave me such a warm feeling of welcome.

So, I am absolutely exhausted.  I need to get to bed so that I can get a good night's sleep before my first day on the new job.

I got to talk with a friend several times over the last 24 hours - she has an alcoholic friend who seems to be drinking herself to death.  I encouraged her to call the police to do a wellness check when the friend stopped responding to phone calls and texts.  The police said she was just sitting at home, drunk.  But that she did not appear to be a danger to self or gravely disabled - so they could not force her into treatment.   My friend has no experience with alcoholics, so she has been talking to me.  I am always astounded at how very self-centered we are when we are in the disease.  I feel bad for my friend.  It is so difficult to go through this crap.

So, I will lay my head on my pillow tonight and thank God from the bottom of my heart.

  • I am sober
  • I am alive and healthy
  • I have a brand new start tomorrow.

This is so good!


18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mary Christine,
I read your blog on a regular basis and am very touched by your honesty and willingness to put yourself out there. I am only 3 months sober and have come to rely on your poignant entries--thank you so much for helping when you probably didn't even know you were. Best of luck in your new job. Sounds like they are lucky to have you.
Sincerely,
Mindy

AnyEdge said...

Congratulations. You've earned it.

Mrs D said...

Congratulations on today - a big day! Change is good. I hope everything goes well in the new job. I look forward to reading about it. I always enjoy reading your posts and you're such an inspiration with the lengthy sobriety (me at just about 5 months). Take care xxx

April said...

Congratulations on your new job! I know that feeling...I worked somewhere for 7 years and they were like family to me. I cried as I drove away also! Your friend is lucky to have you to talk to. It's so sad to see someone trying to help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

lennie said...

hi! can you give me your email address? I just need it for my reference :) thank you.

Mary LA said...

Good luck for your first day in the new job tomorrow. I'm so glad your daughter is in a better place now -- and the reality of recovery is that we might be in need of AA but we have to want to get sober in order to get help.

Lou said...

I'm glad I can comment in the morning before I go to work! I'm thinking of you today, MC.

My son went to California, and had a "13" tattooed across the back of his neck. What is it with that place!?

Pammie said...

I can't wait for the new people to start loving you.

Pammie said...

Oh and sober girl has a huge black bat tattooed across her belly.

Kristin H. said...

Lou: people are so anxious to get the hell out of wherever they came from that they get to California and lose their minds. The drugs don't help. I saw it happen time and again.

Congratulations on time well spent MC. You will be absolutely fabulous at your new job. I'm sure of it.

ScottF said...

MC- do me a favor?? I just posted a couple comments, signed in non-anonymously... (that's me in the red shirt, Scott) would you delete those for me? I perefer that my sobriety blogging remain anonymouse. I forgot I was signed in on my other google account when I posted. Sorry about that. Thanks :-)

Mary Christine said...

Trying... From the bus Scott...

atomic momma said...

Love you love you love you Mary Christine!!!! You just have a wonderful faith and remind us all to keep the faith and keep putting one honest foot in front of the other. Can't wait to hear about your first day in your new job!!!

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

That sounds nice this is _____ and I don't work here anymore. HMM

I reinvent my life every 10 years sometime on purpose and sometime not. You will be fine some doubts might creep up at first when you don't know everything but remember you just started.

Daisyanon said...

Congratulations and good luck MC. I know your star will shine in the new job.

Syd said...

I wish you the best in the new position. And I wish your friend the best in dealing with a messed up alcoholic. God knows, I am sick to death of the disease right now. I hate it. But tomorrow is another day. I will get through all the BS for now.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Congratulations on your new job; you will become as beloved there as you are in the place you left. May your new position bring you pleasure, gratifications and great memories.

Furtheron said...

I left a job in July 2010 - I had started there 19years and 1week before. I'd grown a family, travelled to the USA over 80 times, had several promotions and different jobs etc. I was glad it was over as I knew it was coming to an end, 7 months later they announced the plant was to close and it pretty much did by end of last year - all my ex-colleagues have/are moving on now... I'm still out of place in my new job - I've been here 4 months after a period "consulting"... however the thing I'll always be grateful for to my old employer and boss of that time and especially the lady in occupational health who suggested the rehab option is that they allowed me the time to get well and for that I'll always be grateful for