|My granddaughter, watching the birds at the feeder.|
Later in sobriety, I learned that if I happened upon a co-worker at an AA meeting, odds are they would later expect me to "understand" that they had to come in late, leave early, talk on personal phone calls all day, etc... because they were "sober" and therefore "special."
A dear friend used to say that he could judge the quality of his sobriety by how well he "blended" into his community. Did he "blend" at work? Did he "blend" in his neighborhood? Did he "blend" at church?
I am currently working with a woman who was so dysfunctional in her active alcoholism, she is struggling to find what is functional in the real world. I understand that. Unfortunately, she is still thinking she might be deserving of a statue in the park for showing up on time to work 3 days in a row.
It takes years for us self-consumed alcoholics to see that the rest of the world functions just fine. Most people do what they are supposed to do - without drama or fanfare. When we learn to do that, I think we are on the broad road of recovery.
I thank God for his grace - that he enabled me to get through those crazy first years before I realized that I wasn't the center of the universe. And what a relief it was when I did!
"We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 53