Saturday, January 28, 2012
Peace Love Dove
This morning I woke up at 5, and looked at the thermometer (actually that is a lie, I looked at the weather app on my iPhone) and discovered it was 16º outside. I looked in the mirror at the bags under my eyes. I looked into my soul to see that I am 100% exhausted and decided not to join my running club. This is the first Saturday in nearly 2 years I have missed for reasons other than being out of town or otherwise engaged. Never because I "didn't feel like it." But today I didn't feel like it and I am glad I didn't go.
I went to the 6:30 meeting instead and found that it was the birthday meeting for two of my friends. One with 14 years and the other with 26. I was so glad to be there. The 26 year old was the man I was in a car wreck with a couple of years ago. I was glad I could simply wish him a happy birthday without mentioning the accident. And the 14 year old? I love him. I have known him since he got out of prison and came to the group. When my daughter got sober, he helped her tremendously. He is a good, true-blue AA member.
My house needs to be cleaned but I am afraid I can't muster the energy to do that either. So, I am sitting here in front of the fire, watching TV and blogging. I went to the grocery store on the way home from the meeting this morning and got the makings for chicken corn chowder - I have cut, chopped, blended, and sauteed, and that is all bubbling away on the stove. This all sounds like an excellent way to spend a Saturday to me. A nap later. Then the boyfriend is taking me out for dinner. I am excited about that.
So peaceful, so happy. So relieved. Last week was massive and I am glad it is over. And happy about the new direction in my life.
"God I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always." -- Third Step Prayer -- from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. (I am too tired to get the book, so forgive me if I have gotten a word or two wrong. Also, I don't know what page it is on because I had a sponsor who told me to never get to that point where I memorized the book or page numbers. But I can't help but know this prayer, I have said it so many times.)