Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sunday Morning

It's 7:45 a.m. on Sunday January 8. It is 44 degrees outside. I could go out and run. Normally that is what I would want to do. However, I don't want to do that today. I am tired. I am beyond tired. One might say I am a mess.

Yesterday after leaving an AA meeting, I actually cried and sobbed and carried on. It has been a long time since I have done that. I talked to my sponsor and told her that I had lost all perspective due to over work and lack of sleep. I told her that I had been crying because I didn't have any friends. My sponsor, in her inifinite wisdom, said "you may not have any friends, but you sure have a lot of people who love you."

I am so tired I can barely see straight. I did manage to sleep all night last night for the first time in a long time. I am going to work from home today and try to watch some football games. I have worked for eight days straight now and I don't do this well. But today, at least I am not going to go in to the hospital, I am going to stay here and do the work from my computer, which I can do - thank God.

My sponsor also commended me on keeping up on my self-care. Going to meetings. Eating right. Exercising. Reaching out to others. And yesterday I signed up for tanning. It is bad for my skin, but good for my soul. I LOVE tanning. (It was also nice that the tanning salon owner was so happy to see me that he asked me to go to a movie and dinner with him!)

So here is the good news:
My brain may attack me and tell me that I have no friends, but it isn't true.
This tiredness is going to end.
This big deal at work is going to come to an end.
I am going to take a tropical vacation (probably Puerto Rico)with my daughter when the big deal at work ends.
I am sober and all the rest of this is just a bunch of stuff.


AAwoken said...

Wow, all these post about not having friends....Read my comment over at dAAve's


I tan once a week in the winter time. Like you said it's not good for you but damn you'll look good.
I see you,

Trudging said...

Overwork and lack of sleep can really make you feel crazy

dAAve said...

are we married?

Shannon said...

Mary Christine I love you! you are right about your disease trying to get you... especially tire, hungry, angry loney... you know! Glad you see the light at the end of the tunnell!

Scott W said...

I am sober and all the rest of this is just a bunch of stuff.

That last line says it all. Thanks.