I had to learn how to deal with conflict when I got sober. Previous to getting sober, my idea of dealing with conflict was to turn away and go find someone else to talk to about the matter. That probably isn't such a bad approach if you ever go back and address the situation. I never did. I would either be a doormat or an angry lunatic, but not much in between. I had to try to learn how to disagree without being disagreeable.
Last night I attended the board meeting of my homeowners' association. I am on the board. I have been for a year and a half. My term is supposed to be 2 years. I don't think I can tolerate this long enough to serve out my term.
Did you ever find yourself defending someone you don't agree with? That is difficult. But I had to do that last night. Did you ever find yourself arguing with someone who is not very intelligent? I did that last night. Imagine having to tell someone that a neighbor has a right to her own property! That it is her tree! It is not the HOA's tree! So, the not-very-intelligent person flatly stated that she would "take a chain-saw to the tree." Oh my. I don't want to be part of this. I don't want to sit in the same room with people who think they are part of Hitler's Germany, not a small community in the foothills of the rockies.
So, the conflict for me is:
I made a commitment to do this for 2 years.
Someone has to be the voice of sanity on this board (but I don't want to do it).
Someone has to defend the rights of people to their own property (but I don't want to do it).
Within my own family I need to deal with conflict. That is unavoidable if I want to be part of a family. At my workplace, I need to deal with conflict. That is unavoidable if I want to be gainfully employed. Even within AA, from time to time, I need to deal with conflict. But do I really need to add another serving of conflict on my plate? I really don't want to.
I will pray some more about this and talk with my sponsor. I just don't want to do this.