We got approximately a foot of snow last night. In fact, it is continuing to snow this morning. My daughter and I just finished shoveling the driveway. It is really heavy. It is also very pretty, and I took a bunch of photos while I was shoveling (see above). I wanted to write a bit more about something I touched on yesterday. I wrote about being on or at the edge. The woman standing, beaming at being the last one standing at the round up. She had the most years of sobriety. I thought it was frightening. I guess that is an unusual response.
I had a sponsor in my early sobriety who asked me a question that has always stuck with me. She asked "In a flock of sheep, which one gets picked off by the wolf?" I really thought she was nuts when she asked me this because I was going through some kind of trauma. But she insisted that I answer her. I had to think for a minute, and then I answered "the one on the outside of the flock." She said that was right. That the wolf was like alcoholism, and it was waiting for the sheep (alcoholic) who was doing its own thing, not really staying in the middle of the flock (AA).
I resolved at that time that I would stay right in the middle of the flock.
But I find, as time passes, that is less possible. I don't really want to be a trailblazer. I don't want to be set apart because of my days of sobriety or my age. I just want to be part of the flock. I guess I get to learn new lessons as time goes on...
Let's stay safe, warm, and sober today, OK?
12 comments:
MC - You have a gift of many years sobriety. It is wonderful and amazing. In my mind, you're not the last one standing; you're someone people trust, and go to when they need help, support, or are looking for some answers. You are doing what AA teaches us. Being of service. Thank you for that.
MC,
LTNW. I wanted to share that I have just been elected to the second term (4 years) for our Metro District and am newly installed on the Water District (4 yrs). Prior to that my hubby was Prez of the HOA, so I got to live with all of the problems vicariously (you know, asks my advice, and then says, well you don't know and you don't have to be responsible for it...) but I digress. My point is that you may be the only sane voice God has placed on the board to shepherd the group to tolerance and openness about their community. It is a gift that you have, your wit, your intelligence, and your love through faith. As with AA, HOA members are people who normally not mix. However, in these times ith falling home values and scarier economic news, people look at the largest investment they have and try to find a way to control everything around the nest. You will be wonderful for these people. You will bring them comfort even in the hardest battle. It is what you do today rather than drink. Keep lovin' em...even though I do really know how hard it can be. J.
That is a LOT of snow. You need one of those snow blowers. Be careful shoveling that stuff.
Thanks for the kind words BG, but I have no clue what LTNW means. What does that mean? I have been on the board for a year and a half and in that time, the board, if anything, has gotten more nasty. I don't think I am having the beacon of light impact on it.
And J - I don't think I am the last one standing. I just don't want to be.
It will hit 75deg. here today so I will be warm, safe-don't know, sober-you bet.
It would be great if when they call out 39 years in a countdown that a whole group of people could stand.
Wow you all have beautiful snow, we got about an inch of snow over the weekend, but lots of freezing rain. I love the pic, be safe while shoveling though.
I think that your gift is that of transformation and the fact that there are many who can come to you, share with you, and learn from your experience, strength and hope.
G
Maybe it's just that being in the middle of the flock looks different with time.
I like the photo very much!
But the story your sponser told you is one will share with my husband - I really like the idea of staying in the middle of the flock ( aa ).
Stay warm!
I'm with you. I don't want to be the center of attention or on the outside. I guess that I'll always be an outlier though. I just have some kind of non-conformist streak in me. It stays more hidden these days but will occasionally come forth.
that snow looks like a good playground. Send some here.
I like cool and even cold weather, but no snow please. I will admit it's pretty.
Middle of the flock--warm place? When I stood at the count of 34 years' sobriety, the were seven of us. Oldest-Timer was 53 years. So I don't think I'll ever have to stand alone, "Thanks be to God."
Thanks, Mary, you post so well...
Steve
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