I wanted to write a bit more about something I touched on yesterday. I wrote about being on or at the edge. The woman standing, beaming at being the last one standing at the round up. She had the most years of sobriety. I thought it was frightening. I guess that is an unusual response.
I had a sponsor in my early sobriety who asked me a question that has always stuck with me. She asked "In a flock of sheep, which one gets picked off by the wolf?" I really thought she was nuts when she asked me this because I was going through some kind of trauma. But she insisted that I answer her. I had to think for a minute, and then I answered "the one on the outside of the flock." She said that was right. That the wolf was like alcoholism, and it was waiting for the sheep (alcoholic) who was doing its own thing, not really staying in the middle of the flock (AA).
I resolved at that time that I would stay right in the middle of the flock.
But I find, as time passes, that is less possible. I don't really want to be a trailblazer. I don't want to be set apart because of my days of sobriety or my age. I just want to be part of the flock. I guess I get to learn new lessons as time goes on...
Let's stay safe, warm, and sober today, OK?