Sunday, December 28, 2008

Procrastinating my Sunday Morning Run

I have a half-marathon in 3 weeks.  I am probably not ready for it.  Today I have a 9 mile run scheduled.  I will go out and do it even though the wind is gusting up to 20 mph.  I had a nightmare about the race last night.  It was 5 minutes before the start and I was looking for something to eat.  All I could find was hot dogs.  I knew I would barf up a hot dog at about 9 miles, so I couldn't eat one, but I was hungry!  Yes, it is probably hard to believe that this was a nightmare, but it was.  Typical performance anxiety nightmare...

So this morning I drove up to my old homegroup and saw some old friends.  As I walked in, I saw D., and said - "hey isn't your birthday this week?"  he said "yes, it is today."  He celebrated 23 years of sobriety this morning.  And he was told by a couple of guys that 23 years is a "good start."  Oh yeah!  These are my people!  He also told a woman who was coming back again that "you don't get unlimited do-overs here."  I really liked that.  

It is amazing to me how different groups are.  I love, love, love this group, and it is not just because it is the people I got sober with.  They actually talk about program in this group.  Steps, Service, Fellowship.  For reals.  The meeting at 5:30 I went to the other night?  They were talking about being able to go to bars and have a pepsi and shoot pool.  Really.  Well, I sort of told them I thought that all sounded pretty good theoretically, but was in practice a very very bad idea.   But do I really want to go back to that group very often?  nope.  Do I want to go back to my old peeps?  yep.  

I guess I get to make choices like that today.  

And now I get to make the choice to go out in this wind and run 9 miles.  I would rather pull out my incisors with pliers.  


8 comments:

dAAve said...

I have some brand new blue and yellow pliers. Vice grips too if you need them.
Have a fun day!!

steveroni said...

I'll leave the incisors alone, but I can pray for your legs. Gosh, I'm not sure now...does that fall into the realm of 'helping others'???

Gabriella Moonlight said...

You know in the BB where it says we were undisciplined, Mary you sound incredibly disciplined and dedicated to AA and to your running...20mph wind and running...phew. Have a great day!
G

Scott W said...

We get choices and the power to create our lives as we wish. Pretty sweet deal!

Syd said...

I got a leatherman for christmas that you could use. But I don't want you to lose any teeth.

Mary Christine said...

I ran 10 miles. It hurt, but I did it.

At about 5 miles, I knew I could do another 5. And then having 10 under my belt, I thought my performance anxiety would go away... but maybe that was optimistic.

I feel like a crippled old woman!

But football is on tv, and it doesn't get any better than Sunday afternoon on the sofa watching footie!

Bill said...

Having choices is a nice way to live, eh? Just another one of the paradoxes I've found in recovery...the more I give up self will, the more choices I'm granted.

I love the story about the guy with 23 years being told he was off to a good start! I'm still grinning over that one.

Scott W said...

Syd got a leatherman for Christmas? Surely it's not the kind of leather man I am thinking!