I found out today that my sponsor is in the hospital. That was rather shocking. When I got off the phone with her husband I cried. (well, really, I have a rather similar emotional response to everything - I cry). He said she is on the mend and would be discharged tomorrow or the next day and advised me not to call. She will call me when she gets home. She has never been in particularly good health since she has been my sponsor. When we first met, she told me she was "terminal," she had just gone through a horrible health incident and was not supposed to live. But live she did, and here she is all these years later. I don't suppose she would like me to say these things about her because she is beautiful and gorgeous and has the bearing of a queen. Truly, she does. The love I feel for this woman might be one of the purest things I have ever experienced in my life. It is just love. I would wish this for everyone. But I would hasten to add that it took me over 10 years of sobriety (and many sponsors) before I met her.
I thank God I didn't give up on the concept of sponsorship before I found the right one. My former husband used to say that "sponsorship is a principle not a personality." Much as I had to discard many of the things he said (particularly things about me!) I think this was a good one.
I will stop at church tomorrow night, and light as many candles as I can - without hogging. So many people I have promised to pray for.... I know that most of them don't even care about candles burning in a church, but I do. I love the thought of a candle burning with the intention of a prayer, it takes a whole week for that thing to burn down. I guess it is my upbringing that leads me to believe there is power in that.
And I will ask for your prayers too.
And thank you.
13 comments:
You got'em.
Blessings and aloha...
I'm not quite ready to get back to "life and work" stuff.
You lighting candles means more me than you will ever know.
Don't forget to just pace yourself.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
My prayers are headed your way!
Can nonCatholics light candles? I think it is beautiful imagery.
I feel such a sincere love for my sponsor, too.
thank you for sharing-
Today is that 'another' day of which we often speak. Grateful it will be a sober one.
Sending healing prayers--and strength as you--as we all--get back to the grind!
I have always loved the sacramentals in Catholicism. Visible signs of invisible grace.
Thanks for these words about sponsorship. I know what is right in my gut, but I get this voice in my head that says "maybe it's YOU, Lou." Sometimes I feel the need to justify my choices on my blog, but then I read you, and I know I don't have to do that;)
Thanks MC. I am having a busy day at work as well. And a few prayers being sent from me as well. I think that you yourself "light a candle" for so many, including me.
Sponsorship is a principle, not a personality. Love that. Aside from a guide through the steps, to me a good sponsor is someone who always tells me the truth, even when I don't want to hear it. I've been blessed with a good one.
Even during the years I backed away from the church, I still dropped in now and then to light candles.
I so believe in that symbolic sign of prayers being lifted up to God, and candles representing my prayers, after I have left.
You and sponsor, get better!
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