Trust

Lately I am realizing that it takes a certain level of trust to blog. It sounds very odd to say that because my audience is the internet - I have absolutely no control over who reads my blog. However, I do usually write to an intended audience. My intended audience is mostly my frequent readers - the other bloggers, my friends. But as I can see from my site meter, most of my readers are people who get here by searching for information about Alcoholics Anonymous or "how to quit drinking" or "do people stay sober" etc. I take that very seriously. I see my role as pointing them to their local Alcoholics Anonymous organization. I am happy if they can use my blog to read about the adventures and misadventures of one person who happens to be a member of AA. I think that no matter what is going on, no matter what I am writing about, my ultimate message is that a person can stay sober, one day at a time, by the Grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, AA works.

Anyone who has known me for a while probably knows that I really love my job. Most people my age are counting down the days until retirement like a prisoner "X"ing off days on their calendars. I am trying to relish each day, I do not want to retire. I want to work as long as I possibly can. The last 5 months have been horrible at work. I feel that emotionally I am really feeling the fallout from 5 months of too much stress, too much grief, too much pain. Compound that with the fact that it is January, which I typically have a hard time with, and I am not really at my best right now.

So, what do I blog about - I don't want this to be a "dump" of all things unpleasant because I believe I have a responsibility not to do that. But I also take seriously a responsibility to be honest and not sugar coat things. I will not lie and say I feel great and happy, serene, peaceful, and content while I am sitting at my computer tearing my hair out.

Let's just say that I am facing a challenging time right now. Most of the time I am just fine. I try to do what I know to do. The most effective weapon against despair is "turning my thoughts to others," so I make an effort every day to do that. I know that God has led me through darker places in my life and that even though I do not feel his presence, it is here. To go any further to explain that would lead me down a road of my beliefs that are very specific to my religion and I don't do that on my blog either!

We bloggers have a pretty nice community. We generally treat each other with affection, care, and respect. There are always new additions and I think probably like at the gym, there are more newer ones at this time of the year. New sober bloggers generally tend to fall into two groups - those who are looking for answers and those who think they have the answers. All I want to do is share my experience, strength, and hope. I do not want others to come by and tell me what to do. It really irritates me. And when I go to your blog, I hope to read about your experience, strength, and hope. If your blog is a general treatise about being sober, and quotes all kinds of non-AA literature to support your opinions, I probably won't be back. If you are honestly sharing your experience, strength, and hope, you will find your blog on my sidebar and I will be back most every day.

I appreciate the risk that we take every day to share ourselves. We do get attacked. We learn to live through it. I have learned so much from my blogging friends. I appreciate you, that is what I want to say.

And if you are new to blogging, keep coming back.