From my office window two days ago
It is Friday morning. I am wearing full Broncos regalia to work today. I have so much stuff from years past, I have a wide array of wardrobe choices to make this morning. If I were already on my new job, I would be able to go to a Broncos rally on my lunch break. But, I am not on my new job.
Yesterday I chaired two meetings at work for the last time. I could never have anticipated how much I would enjoy this. At one point in the two months of negotiations about this job, I had decided that I just couldn't leave the hospital - that I love it too much. And yet, once I made that decision, I have been just as happy as can be. Maybe the sadness will hit me later, I don't know.
Today I will attend a meeting that has been hellish for me for many years. I don't intend to show up there next week on my last Friday. I have too many loose ends to get tied up - I can't spend my time in meetings that will be discussing things that will be happening in the post-Mary era.
Do you know that I watched my first football game 25 years ago? I was 2 1/2 years sober, 35 years old and had always hated football. But the Broncos were in the playoffs. Just like today, at work we were encouraged to wear our orange on Friday, and we were allowed to wear jeans if we did. 25 years ago wearing jeans to work was a really big deal. On that Sunday afternoon, I thought - well, I am willing to wear orange to work, so why don't I try to watch the game. It was the famed game against the Cleveland Browns - with John Elway's The Drive. I know I have at least one reader from Ohio who has this drive seared into his memory just as I do. Only for me, it was a moment that changed my life. I stood and screamed, all alone in my condo. My kids were outside and came in to see if I was OK. I told them I was watching the game - and they looked at me like I was nuts. But I have been hooked on football ever since.
So, the only conclusion I can draw from this disjointed piece is that things can change without any warning or pre-meditation.
When I was praying this morning, I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for carrying me for all of this time. I was despairing that something needed to change a few months ago... and now it is. And I didn't have to go out and scheme and plan.
I let go and let God.
What a deal!
(blogger is being very weird this morning - I have now been trying to post this for over a half an hour - here goes again!)