Monday, March 19, 2012

Days being Good

That should be a week worth of fruit - excluding the strawberries.
Today was a good day.  It was an easy day.  I had two meetings on the campus of where I used to work.  When I left there, I contacted my boss and she suggested that instead of coming in, I just call in for my 3:00 meeting.  Awesome!

I have been on this job for almost 2 months.  I think I might be getting a bit used to it.  Maybe.  And maybe it is just easy to think so today because it was an easy day.  But honestly, those two meetings were difficult because they are my hardest people.

But when I want to feel bad about that, I just look at the receptionist there.  She trained me to do my first job at the hospital, nearly 18 years ago.  She later decided she hated me and told me so.  When I became her boss she tendered her resignation.  And I smilingly accepted it.  She thought I would argue with her.  She took her entire retirement fund out and spent it on things like remodeling her basement.  A year or so later, she was back at the hospital working in a greatly diminished role.  Her job was eliminated a couple of years ago when the hospital down-sized.  She found herself at this other place.  She is my age and will be working for the rest of her life.

Thank God I was living a program through all of this.  I cannot imagine having to face her if I hadn't come to terms with her behavior, take responsibility for mine, and go from there.

When I was in college one of the teachers said "it is all about relationships."  I thought at the time that was a rather cynical sentiment.  Now I can hardly imagine why I thought that.  Because no matter what I do, or where I do it, it is all about WHO I am doing it with.  You can be the smartest person on earth, but if you behave like a jackass, you will get nowhere.  I got to do some "active listening" today with some of the people I find the most difficult to deal with in my new job.  When the woman who has been so hard told me she was so overwhelmed she was about to burst into tears, I could see that was the truth.  And it put her manner into context.  I figured it probably wasn't really about me, and sure enough, it wasn't.  Glad I took the time to listen.

It is good to be a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous.  The rewards go so far beyond just not taking a drink - but the first and most important thing that I do - is NOT take a drink.  It would all be lost if I had a sip.

So, I will thank God for his abundant grace tonight as I lay down my head to sleep.


Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much this post helped me tonight Mary, thanks once again for you honesty and sharing. It has been one of those weeks full of lessons for me and I am so exhausted, but I am alive, sober and learning :)

Mary LA said...

That is so true, Mary Christine -- it is always all about relationships. And it is hard to be criticised, disliked or hated, I find that so painful. But that may have nothing to do with us and if we stay open to possibility and behave with integrity, that may change.
Relationships in the workplace have been some of my hardest challenges.

dAAve said...

The truth shall set uf FREE!

Pammie said...

Loved Mary.

ScottF said...

Boy oh boy, so many times I've thought someone's issue was about ...

Your tale really summarizes my greatest challenges in recovery: relationships!

I knnow some AA's bristle at the thought of a "relationship" discussion because it's not "part of the Steps" or "AA approved" and all that. But relationships are at the heart of it all. The Steps teach us how to rightly relate with God, ourselves and others (in that other, pretty much).

What a great post, thanks MC :-)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Awesome post!

Thank you for your honest relation of a good workday today! It spoke volumes to me.


Syd said...

Hate is such a strong word. I cannot imagine hating someone. Relationships are challenging, especially alcoholic ones. I'm glad that I have a program that helps me to see that I don't need to take things personally.

Jeremy said...

Exactly what I needed to hear today - THANK YOU!

Ellie said...

How I want what you have.

I had an incredibly negative view of 12-step programs before I found your blog. (I don't even remember how I found it; I wish I did.) You have totally changed my mind.